Life Changing Moments
by jeytonlover
Summary: Life is full of moments. Moments that define your life and change them forever. But who knew that a life changing moment would ultimately lead her to a lifetime of moments with him. Will be a Dasey, of course! EPILOGUE IS POSTED AND STORY IS COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**So here's my attempt at a new story! Please give a chance and review and let me know what you think. I believe it's a great story, but I don't want to take the time to write it if no one is going to read. **

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Casey stood there, the cold wind whistling all around her, as the last of the dirt was placed on the grave. Her family had gone to wait in the car, saying that they wanted to give her some time alone. But honestly, she could have been surrounded by thousands of people at that moment and never even known it. Numbness like she had never felt before completely washed over her.

_It had been just another Friday night. Max had won another big game and they had gone out to celebrate in style. After leaving Ryan's party, she had told Max that she was about to be late for curfew and that they needed to hurry. That decision would haunt her for the rest of her life. _

_As they headed towards her home, they talked about the scouts that had been at the game. One in particular had told Max that if he chose to go to his university he would surely be the starting quarterback his first year. This had excited Max to no end._

_Casey would never forget the look on Max's face as he had turned to look at her and said, "Casey, this is my dream, but I don't want to experience it without you. I love you and…" That was it. Those would be the last words out of his mouth. But what she would remember most were not the words, but the sounds that had followed, the initial bang and then the sound of metal grinding against medal. And in one moment, her life changed._

_The next thing she remembered was waking up in a hospital room with the nurse and doctor standing by her side. As she tried to open her eyes, she began to comprehend what the doctor was saying, "She's a very lucky girl. A broken wrist and two black eyes and a gash on the forward are a far cry from what could have been. It looks like the young man with her took the brunt of the hit. Unfortunately, he was DOA when he came in. But, what is really amazing is that the baby survived. With the trauma she underwent and the fact that she's only six weeks along, I'd say it's a miracle." And for the second time in such a very short time, life had once again changed._

She was brought out of her thoughts by the touch of a hand on her shoulder. As she turned, she saw a very uncomfortable Derek looking for the right words to say. With a sigh, he finally urged, "Come on Case. The sun's starting to go down and the wind is really picking up. Everyone's in the car waiting and you need to get home and rest."

As she began walking, she turned back one last time to where he now lay. Gently, she placed her hand on her stomach. She had to be strong. Strong for the secret that she carried within her, because it was all that was left of their love.

**

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Alright, let me know what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A huge thank you to those who reviewed! I hope you like this chapter. I know that there is a great deal of sadness in these first few chapters but at the end of this one, I hope you'll get a view inside Derek's heart and mind. **

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At dinner that night Casey went through the motions of eating because her mother expected it, taking a few bites of meat and playing with the baked potato. She noticed that her family didn't seem to have much of an appetite either, although they made an effort to keep a conversation going. 

Washing the dinner dishes was one of her usual chores and that evening Derek pitched in to help, not offering, but simply doing it. With Derek's help it made for a speedy job and soon they were finished.

She walked into the den where George was reading the newspaper and her mother was looking at a new magazine. Casey thought about going upstairs and trying to study, but it would have been futile since she couldn't think clearly enough to absorb anything. Besides, she didn't want to be alone. When she glanced around the room, it could have been any evening from the looks of the family ---- but it wasn't. She wondered if she seemed as calm on the outside as her mom and George appeared to be, because inside she was churning.

Finally, Casey could no longer stand the silence and finally whispered, "I don't think I can live without Max."

"I know, Casey," George said as he patted the seat beside him on the couch. "But you're a strong girl emotionally, and I'm sure that's one of the traits Max admired in you. I can't tell you his death doesn't hurt, because it does, and I can't assure you that the pain will go away soon. Please, just try and take some comfort in the fact that Max cared as much about you as you still do about him. Lots of people live their entire lives without a tenth of the love you and Max shared."

Everything caught up with her, and she covered her face with her hands. "It's not fair for Max to die," she moaned. "It's just not fair."

"Lots of things in this life aren't fair," Nora replied in a quiet voice. "We have to make ourselves accept what we can't change."

"But Max's whole life was ahead of him and so many people cared about him. I don't understand this. Max wasn't evil or mean or anything. Why did this have to happen to him?"

"Nobody has the answers to that, Casey. I think perhaps we human beings aren't supposed to understand everything about life and why we happen to be on this earth. Losing people we love is a terrible blow and I wish I knew some way to make Max's death easier for you, but I don't. Time helps. That's the one thing I can tell you. After a time you'll be able to think about all the fun you and Max had together and not about the sorrow of his death," she said. "That won't happen today or tomorrow, but it will come eventually. Believe me, I know."

"How can you be so sure, Mom?"

"You don't remember when my parents died because you were just eight months old, Casey; but they died within five weeks of each other, and I experienced a dreadful feeling of resentment and loss. That bitterness is gone now, though. I still miss them and always will, but I don't feel as apart from them as I did at first."

She supposed her mother was waiting for her to reply, but she couldn't. The only feeling in her was the ache of missing Max. The wind was blowing, rattling the shutters on the house, knocking tree branches. Outside the storm seemed to rage, just as it was in her life at this moment.

Nora returned to her magazine and Casey picked one up pretending to look at the pictures. She knew her family was trying to help her and she was grateful for their love and support, but nothing could stop the pain of facing the future without Max.

Blinking furiously, she tried to make the tears go away so she wouldn't break down again, but it was no use. She excused herself and hurried upstairs to her room.

Once there, she lay on her bed picking up the picture of her and Max from her bedside table. Reality was starting to set in. She would never feel Max's arms around her….or kiss him….or hear him laugh. He would never again be waiting for her by her locker….they would never eat lunch together in the school cafeteria….or go to Smelly Nelly's together for hamburgers…or talk. There had never been enough time for all the things she wanted to say to him.

"Oh, Max," she said aloud, as she ran her fingers gently over their picture, letting them linger on his face. "How am I going to do this without you? A baby, Max. We're having a baby and I don't think I can do this by myself. No one even knows yet." She thought back to when she had begged the doctor not to tell her mother and because she had just turned eighteen a few months earlier, he had to comply with her wishes. This was more than she could handle, and she had to deal with one thing at a time. And right now dealing with the loss of Max was number one on her list.

Once again she was overcome by grief. She felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her body and she could hold it in no longer. She was overcome with emotion as she lay there sobbing. Soon she heard a faint knock on her door. "I'm fine, just go away."

But soon the door opened slightly and Derek peeked his head through the door. "Case?"

"I told you I was fine. Can't you take a hint?"

"Listen, if there's one thing in the world you're not, it's fine. I know that Max and I were never close. That honestly, we barely tolerated each other. But I'm not that cold hearted. I know you're hurting, and I'm really sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through right now."

"That's exactly right Derek, you can't imagine," disdain dripping from her voice. "You can't imagine because you've never had a meaningful relationship in your life. So just go, I don't need you to help me. There's no way you could understand."

Derek gave her one last look and shut the door. Walking into his room her threw himself down on his bed. Running his fingers through his hair, he tried to hold in the anger that was building up inside him. He had wanted to scream at her. Tell her how wrong she was. He knew exactly what it was like to care about someone else, to put someone's wants before his own because he had been doing it for so long with her. It was no coincidence that he hadn't been Max's biggest fan, but he knew that the last thing Casey needed was a screw up like him. But he hurt for her and yearned to help her get through this. And if she'd only let him, he'd like to help. He knew that nothing could come of his feelings and he knew he would have to come to live with that, or least give it a try. But no matter what, he wanted to help her see that life would go on and that she would have to find some way to go on with it.

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**Alright, there's chapter two. Let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

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Casey had cried until there were no tears left. She knew that it wasn't healthy for the baby and that she needed to start taking better care of herself. Slowly getting up, she made her way to the kitchen to get a glass of milk. She was surprised to still see her mother up, sitting at the counter holding a cup of tea.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"I don't know. I just go from overwhelming emotion to numbness and back again. It's a vicious cycle. But to be honest, right now I'd go for numbness full time."

"Baby, I know how rough this is, but you've got to move on. George and I were talking, and we think it would be a good thing for you to go to school tomorrow."

Casey eyes shot up to her mother's. Shear panic evident when she spoke. "But I'm not ready to go back to school yet," she protested. "I'm a good student. I can get by on my own for awhile."

"The sooner you get back into a regular routine, the better it will be for you," Nora insisted.

"I can get into that routine next Monday," panic making her voice high. "I'll go to pieces if anyone mentions Max, and somebody will, I'm just sure if it."

"When they do, just say, 'Thank you for your sympathy,' and change the subject. The other person will get the message that you don't care to discuss it."

"My mind will go blank. I won't be able to change the subject." Her hands were icy cold and her knees weak at the thought of the ordeal of school. "Mom, I'll cry. I know I will." She was almost crying at the moment just worrying about it.

"The first day back will be the first day back whether it's tomorrow or next Monday or a month from now, and putting it off won't make it easier. Your missing school since the accident is understandable, but no more. It's best to get the first day back over with in a hurry."

Her voice was filled with understanding but was so firm Casey knew there was no point in pleading. She had made up her mind.

--

By noon that day Casey had decided that she was better off at school than just sitting and brooding at home.

During the morning she had dreaded lunch period, but Emily motioned to her as she stood in the cafeteria line and point to the empty chair beside her. She had a bowl of soup and a carton of milk on her tray, but was sure that she couldn't manage to swallow anything.

Emily and the others were so careful not to mention Max that they must have discussed it in advance. The rest of the week was similar.

--

Soon it was the weekend and she knew that it would be awful. She tried not to think about what their friends would be doing that weekend. Going to Smelly Nelly's no doubt, or to the movies, or the new pizza place. Casey decided that if anyone called and invited her to go someplace, she'd refuse. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with them, because she did. She wanted desperately to get out of the house, but she wasn't going to camp on her friends' dates indefinitely.

After dinner that night, Nora told Casey that she and George had planned on going over to visit Max's aunt and uncle. Ironically Max's parents had been killed in an auto accident when he was five and his aunt and uncle had raised him since that time. She asked if Casey would like to come, but honestly, that was the last thing that Casey wanted to do.

"Not yet," she said. "I'll go to see them eventually, but not right now."

Nora had made her promise to not sit in her room and mope all night. Edwin and Lizzie were at a school sponsored dance and Marti had gone to spend the weekend with Abby. Derek hadn't gotten home from hockey practice yet, and it being Friday night, they fully expected to not see him until curfew.

Casey promised not to mope as she ushered them out the door, assuring them that she would be alright. Trying to watch television, she changed the channels without finding a program to hold her interest, and she couldn't concentrate on reading.

Tears came to her eyes and she hastily wiped them away. _I have to get myself together, _she thought. She knew her mom and George would be upset if they came home and found she'd been crying again. She knew how worried they were, just as she realized people at school could understand the sorrow that she felt. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake the feeling.

Thirty minutes later she saw headlights pull up and she wondered how they had made it back so soon. Evidently no one had been home and they had returned to check on her.

Casey was taken aback when she saw Derek, and not their parents, walk through the door and throwing his hockey bag down in it usual spot.

"Up!" he commanded.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, up! It's a very simple command actually. Have you suddenly lost your ability to decipher the English language?"

"Uh, _no_! But I think _you_ may have lost your ability to rationally think. What makes you think I just jump when you speak?"

"Because playing nice gets no where with you. You've proven that every time I've tried to check on you or see how you're doing this week. Now, you're not just going to sit here and waste away. You are going to go do something if I have to pick you up out of that chair, _my chair_, may I add, and carry you out of here kicking and screaming." And with one fell swoop he had her in his arms heading for the door.

"Let me go. Der-_ek_, put me down this instant!"

"No can do Princess! You're getting more depressed by the day and I can't watch it anymore. It's pathetic."

Casey stopped. Stopped kicking and pushing and pulling and just became still. And then she did something that surprised Derek beyond belief. She totally gave up and threw her arms around his neck and her head onto his shoulder and she cried. Cried just like he had heard her the night he had went to her room, cried like she had every night since the accident. And once again his heart broke. "Come on Case, you know I don't do tears."

Casey lifted her head up and looked into his eyes. "I – I'm sorry. I can't control them. You don't know how bad I want to but I just can't. You know, I'll go five or ten minutes without thinking of him and then some random thing will happen and it's there all over again. And the bad part it, I feel bad when I think about him, but I think I feel worse when I realize that I'm not. Like at lunch today, Sheldon said something ridiculous and I started laughing, really laughing and then this huge sense of guilt washed over me. I don't know, it's just…" she sighed. "Listen I'm sorry for boring you. Now could you please put me down? I just want to go up to my room and …."

"And what, waste away to nothing? Fall deeper and deeper into the depths of depression? Further yourself from everyone who loves you and cares about you?"

Casey finally managed get out of his arms, but that didn't stop her from being right in his face. "Listen, what I do with my life is none of your concern. Just leave it to, as you say, 'everyone who loves me and cares about me'."

"See, now that's where you're wrong. You have no inkling as to who I care about. I wouldn't be wasting my time if I didn't care." Grabbing her arm, he ushered her to the door. "Get your coat, we're going out."

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**So here it is. Please let me know what you think! **


	4. Chapter 4

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"All right Derek, where are you taking me? I'm really tired and all I want to do it go up to my room and go to bed."

"Case, its 7:30 on a Friday nigh, the last thing you need is to be up in your room, by yourself. Now come on. We're going to get some food in your system. What could be better than a greasy burger and some fries? Plus, it will do you good to be around your friends outside of school."

Casey had been so intent on the fact that she wanted to go back home that she hadn't paid any attention at all to where Derek was headed. As they pulled into the parking lot she was shocked to see that they were at Smelly Nelly's. Suddenly her throat went dry and it was difficult to breath.

"No, Derek!" she gasped.

"No what?"

"I can't go in there!" She knew she sounded frantic as she spoke, but that was exactly how she felt. "I can't!"

"What do you mean, you _can't _go in there? You're acting crazy."

Blood pounded in her temples and she wondered if this is what it felt like when you began to have a stroke. "Please, just understand, I can't!"

"Understand what?" He seemed genuinely puzzled. It showed in his face and in his voice.

Casey tried to speak, but instead she began to cry. She couldn't help it. She wasn't sobbing, just little whimps like a hurt animal, her hands in front of her face as if that would hide the tears.

"Casey, don't! Please, don't!" he begged. "What did I do wrong? Please stop crying! Look, do you want me to see if Emily's inside yet? I can get her to come help you!"

He was so desperate that Casey knew she had to try and get herself together. "I -- I'm all r -- right," she mumbled. "Derek, I'm sorry. It's just -- just that I don't think I can go in there. It's so full of memories of Max. That's even where he asked me to be his girlfriend."

He didn't look at her, but stared straight ahead through the windshield, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. "Case, I'm so sorry I made you cry. I really am." And by the look on his face, Casey knew that he was telling the truth.

"It wasn't _you_. Honest! You didn't do or say anything wrong. It's just that going in there will make me break down the way I just did. It's just that this place is --was -- a part of my relationship with Max."

"Maybe you won't break down now. You've had your cry. But if you start, we can always leave."

"I -- I don't trust myself."

Frown lines wrinkled his forehead. "Do you mean you'll never go in there again, Casey?"

She didn't know how to answer. She wasn't ready for that sort of conversation with Derek, or with anyone else for that matter.

"Case, if you take that attitude, you're narrowing your options. Everybody in our school goes to Smelly Nelly's and if you put it off limits, you'll cut yourself out."

She was chilled all the way to her bones. Opening her mouth, she closed it again without speaking.

"Think about it from another angle," he went on. "If you had died and Max was left alive, don't you think he'd miss you as much as you miss him?"

"I hope he would. But I wouldn't want him to hurt the way I'm hurting."

"He'd hurt." Derek slapped his hands on the steering wheel. "Make no mistake about that. But, I'll bet you any amount he wouldn't have holed up in a corner the way you're doing. You're giving your friends the cold shoulder, and Max wouldn't do that. Now granted, we were never close, but just from what I've seen, I think he'd make himself go in there and figure maybe the memories would stop hurting and become good memories if he faced up to them."

Her mom and George had told her something much the same, using different words. She made herself glance at Derek, seeing the troubled expression on his face.

"I guess you're right," she mumbled. "But I don't believe I can do it tonight. Another time I'll make myself go, but not now."

"Is that a promise?"

She saw something in his face. He was worried about her, truly worried and somehow she found this very comforting. "I promise," she said, trying to look as positive as she could.

"Okay." He grinned in her direction. "Strike Smelly Nelly's for the present. Where would you like to go?"

"I don't know, are you sure that going home isn't an option?"

"Absolutely, now pick something!"

She smiled at him. "Derek, I don't know. I can't even think properly. Tell you what, since I pitched such a fit about this place. You pick any other place and we'll go."

He gave her his best smirk and shook his head. "I have a feeling you're going to regret saying that. The theater downtown is having a revival of the worst horror movies ever made and tonight they're showing, Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Real movie magic, don't you think?"

"Are you serious?" she asked as she looked at him questioningly.

"Actually, I am. And you said I could pick, so there it is."

It was Casey's turn to shake her head and laugh. "All right, but you own me supper. So, I'll take large buttered popcorn, Milk Duds, Hot Tamales and chocolate covered almonds."

"Now it's my turn it ask if you're serious. Where in the world are you going to put that?"

"Same place I'm putting the large strawberry soda you're buying me, deal?"

"Deal!"

--

Two hours later they were walking out of the theater.

"Derek, I cannot believe that you just spent your hard earned money on that. Oh my gosh, that had to be the worst movie ever made."

"Actually, tomorrow night they're showing, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Want to come and see which one's worse?"

"Uh, no! I think my IQ level just dropped by at least ten points. But, I have to admit it was fun to watch two hours of mindless matter. Though, how that was supposed to be scary I'll never know."

"Now Case, you know you'll never look at cotton candy the same way again."

"Ooh, gross! That was thoroughly disgusting!"

"Yeah, but if an evil life force is going to use something to capture you, don't you think cotton candy cocoons are the way to go? I mean, you have to admit, they're much better than hatchets or butcher knives."

"This is true, but still, come on, who would spend money to make a movie like that?"

"I have no idea, but you know what, who ever did, I'm really grateful too. I haven't seen you like this in a while."

Soon they were turning into their driveway and Derek turned off the engine. He made a motion to open the door but Casey's hand reached out to stop him. He turned to look at her questioningly, waiting to see if she would say anything.

Finally, she spoke. "Listen Derek, I don't know who has suddenly taken over you're body, but this is the nicest thing someone's done for me in a long time. I didn't think it was possible to go this long without thinking about Max, and, well, I can't tell you how much tonight meant to me." And with that, she smiled at him and opened her car door.

Derek hurried to get out and came around to meet her on her side. Gaining all the courage he could muster, he grabbed her hands. "Listen, I know that Max and I were never close, and if I'm honest, I don't think we would have ever been, but I want you to know I'm here for you. I think it actually might be easier for you to talk to me, because you don't have to worry about walking on egg shells trying not to upset me too. I'm going to be honest. Case, the only thing that upsets me is your being upset. I want to help you if you'll let me. Please?"

She could hear the honesty and sincerity in his voice, but more than that, she could see it in his face. Smiling she looked up at him, "Like I said, I don't know where this Derek came from, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Are you sure you can handle this?"

Smiling down at her he nodded his head in affirmation. "I'm sure of it. But I need you to be honest with me. You can't hold everything inside. If you feel like talking, or crying or even screaming, come to me. I promise I'll be there for you." Not sure what else to do, he pulled her into a hug. He could feel her bury her head into the crook of his neck and for one second, all was right in the world for him.

Pulling back quickly, she gave him another quick smile. "Okay, thanks. But I don't think you have any idea what you're getting yourself into." And with that, she was gone, walking towards the door.

Derek stood there for a moment, letting her words sink in. Casey had no idea that her words had cut so close. With a sigh, he headed for the door, thinking to himself, _"Derek, what have you gotten yourself into?"_

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**All right, there's chapter 4. I expect you to let me know what you think, the good, the bad and the ugly. Whatever it is, I'm ready for it!**


	5. Chapter 5

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Casey had spent the better part of the night tossing and turning. She wanted more than anything for sleep to come. That was the one time the she could see Max, be with Max.

Turning over she saw that the clock read 6:00. It wasn't a conscious plan at first, just a subconscious idea that surged through her because of her need to be with Max. And in an instant, she knew what she had to do. Quickly getting up she pulled some clothes on and crept down stairs, making sure that she didn't wake anyone. She tore a sheet off a memo pad, and scribbled: _Took the car. Will be back shortly – Casey._ Putting the note on the refrigerator where her family would be sure to see it, she grabbed her coat and was out the door.

Traffic was light that early on a Saturday morning. She drove through town, made a couple of turns, and came to the cemetery entrance.

The silence surrounding her was awesome. Nobody was in sight, not a person or another car. There was no noise except the sound of her own ragged breathing and her wildly beating heart.

Parking her car, she remembered walking through the stone arch the day of Max's funeral and vaguely knew where the Miller family plot was located. She ducked her head ever so slightly as she started in that direction because for some unknown reason she didn't want to look at the rows of graves on either side. The path up the hill was well graded, an easy incline, and at the crest, one row over from where she was standing, she saw Max's grave.

She didn't know what she expected. Maybe she thought that the blanket of too green artificial grass would still be in place or that the red and white flowers would still be there fresh. But deep down she knew very well they must have withered long before. Maybe she had expected to see real grass growing, lush and lovely as it would have appeared in the summer.

The ground over Max's grave was bare, the newly turned earth tamped down and smoothed as if someone had taken the back of a spade and pushed it over and over the grave until the mound was almost level with the rest of the plot. There hadn't been time for his uncle and aunt to have a tombstone erected, and a small metal frame had been stuck in the dirt at one end of the mound to hold what looked like a three-by-five file card on which was typed: Maxwell Miller. The name of the funeral home was printed in block letters at the top, and the date of Max's funeral written in ink at the bottom. The card was covered with a piece of clear plastic to protect it from the weather.

"Max…." she began, whispering. She stood there silently, waiting for the words to come, but they wouldn't. She'd been positive she could talk to him if she stood by his grave, but she couldn't. She couldn't tell him how much she loved him. She couldn't tell him about the baby, or about how she would always have a part of him with her. She wanted him to know that his aunt and uncle missed him, that her family and their friends missed him, but most importantly, how much she desperately missed him. But the only thing she could do was stand there in the haunting silence with her throat becoming tighter and tighter.

Time meant nothing as she stood there, until finally, she was overcome with the realization that this grave with its covering of brown earth wasn't Max, and she didn't feel any closer to him than she had at any other time since his death. The strange part was that she couldn't cry. Tears might have helped, but she seemed to be carved from granite just like the tombstones on every side. Turning slowly, she trudged down the hill and walked through the arch to the car.

When she returned home Derek was waiting as she came in the door. Before she could say a word he began in a frantic voice, "_Where_ have you been? I've been worried sick about you and you wouldn't even answer your phone. I finally found it turned off on your desk in your room. You just can't go off like that and not let anyone know where you're going."

Before he could go on, words boiled out of her mouth, words that couldn't stay unsaid any longer. "I went to the cemetery," she blurted out.

Derek stopped dead in his tracks and immediately his whole demeanor changed. "God Case, all by yourself?"

When she nodded, he went on. "I would have gone with you if I'd known. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Derek, I didn't plan to go until, well, I just woke up this morning and I wanted to be with him so badly…." She couldn't go on. She began to cry. The tears that hadn't appeared at the cemetery poured down her face. Derek gathered her into his arms, holding her while she sobbed. "I was sure that going to his grave would make me feel closer to him, but it didn't."

Derek didn't speak; he was truly at a loss for words. He just held her and ran one of his hands up and down his back comfortingly, until she stopped crying.

Finally lifting her head from his shoulder she said, "I've probably ruined your leather jacket crying on it like that. Wait, what are you doing up on a Saturday morning with your jacket on?"

"Actually, I was just going out."

"Where?"

"_Uh_, where do you think? I was going to find you. I was worried sick!"

She looked at him questioningly. "Really? I'm sorry I worried you. I just thought I could be with Max that way." Stopping as is to search for the right words, she finally went on, "Derek, I don't know what to do. I can't be a zombie indefinitely but I can't stop thinking about Max either."

Looking her straight in the eyes and mustering up as much conviction as he could, he stated, "You can take one day at a time and try to do your best. But remember, you have me. I'll always be here for you to talk too." And with that he gathered her in his arms again.

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**All right, yah, I know, another depressing chapter. But won't the good ones be so much better because we've been through this? **


	6. Chapter 6

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It had been over two and a half months since the night that changed her life and she'd had more ups and downs than the biggest roller coaster in the world. She had to admit, she didn't know what she would have done had it not been for her family. Sure, her friends had been there to help her, but their lives went on and she really didn't think that they fathomed the effect that this had on her life. But her family had been her constant, her shield from the storm, but she had to admit that it was Derek who had really brought her through.

Lying in bed, she rubbed her hand over her stomach, feeling the bump that was developing. Thankfully, her clothes still hid it from view, but she knew that it wouldn't be long. Somehow she had to find a way to tell them. Tell them that her life had not only changed from the death of Max, but also that in about five months her life would once again be changing forever. Gone were the hopes of going away to college. She had already submitted her application to Boston College, but she knew when word came, it wouldn't mean anything. She knew her mom and George would allow her to live at home and she would be able to attend the local university. But the idea of raising a child was a foreign concept to her. She couldn't imagine that for the next eighteen years, every decision she made would revolve around the life of someone else first, and more importantly, she would have to make all those decisions on her own.

She knew that her parents would be supportive, shocked, but supportive. But secretly she wondered the most about how Derek would handle it. Sure, he had been beyond believable to far, but finding out that she was having Max's baby, who knew how he would react to that one. And truth be told, she didn't know what she would do if he turned his back on her now. He had seemingly put his whole life on hold to help her through this. The last few months had consisted of them spending most of their free time together and he had been more than she could have asked for. He had become the person she cried with, laughed with, in short, somewhere along the line he had become her best friend. She only hoped that when he found out, he would still be there. It was that cloud of doubt that had kept her from telling, but it was eating her alive. She needed to be able to talk to someone about this, and if she was truly honest with herself, it was Derek that she wanted to talk with.

Looking at the clock she saw that it read 2:00 a.m. Getting up, she made her way to the bathroom. Seeing the light on in Derek's room, she started to open the door, but decided better of it. In the state of mind she was in, she might just blurt everything out and she wasn't ready to do that yet.

Washing her hands, she quietly turned the light off and went back into her room. Easing her door closed, she flipped her light switch on and walked over to her mirror. Lifting her shirt up, she turned sideways to look at the effect the baby was having on her body. Her stomach was round but firm and she was silently thankful that no stretch marks had appeared yet. She was so lost in her own thoughts, she didn't even hear her door slowly creak open.

"Case, I heard you up and I was wondering if…" his voice trailed off.

Turning to face the door she saw a wide eyed Derek staring back. Tears instantly filled her eyes at the look she saw on his face. "I…I didn't want you to know yet," she said miserably. "I'm sure you're disgusted."

Still silent, Derek finally shook his head. Walking towards her he held out his arms and she gladly went into them, burying her face in his chest and sobbing loudly.

Finding his voice, he quietly urged her, "Come on." Pulling her closer to him and putting an arm around her shoulder. "Let's go sit down." Silently they walked over to her bed. "When did you find out?" he asked, trying not to stare at the obvious bump as she sat there, but he couldn't help himself, he was amazed by it.

Gathering herself, she took a deep breath and began, "The night of the accident. Can't you just imagine how it went, 'We're sorry that your boyfriend's dead, but congratulations your having his baby'," she said bitterly. "Every idea, every plan I ever had for my life changed in a moment." And suddenly once again she was in his arms crying with terror and shame and relief. The sobs that racked her drained her of all energy, and he held her until she stopped. Derek's heart broke for the sight that was in front of him. He felt desperately sorry for her, and the baby.

"Wow, Case. You've got your hands full." Pulling away from her, he dried her tears with his thumbs. When's it due?'

"June," she simply replied.

"Have you been seeing a doctor?"

She shook her head as if ashamed. "I know I need to, but I just can't make myself go. It's like if I start going to doctor's appointments, it'll be that much more real."

Smiling at her, he rolled his eyes. "By the look of that bump, I'd say it's pretty real."

She smiled, but immediately broke down again. He slowly pulled her to him and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. And in the back of his mind he remembered the words she had spoken to him weeks ago. She had told him that he had no idea what he was getting into, but that really wasn't the truth. At this exact moment, he knew exactly what he was getting into, he was falling head over heals in love with Casey McDonald. The question was, what was he going to do about it?

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	7. Chapter 7

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Derek lay back on his bed, hands behind his head. Closing his eyes he inhaled and then exhaled slowly. The past week had truly been a whirlwind, a whirlwind of revelations.

When he had found out about Casey he had been thunderstruck. Never in a millions years had he expected such a thing. It had been as if his mind and body had been on auto-pilot. He had comforted her as best he could, but the overwhelming part had actually been the realization of just how deep his feelings for Casey really ran. And from that moment on he had been on a mission. A mission to make this as easy as he possibly could for Casey. He knew he was pushing his own feelings to the side, but ultimately he would deal with them. Right now, he just needed to make sure Casey was okay.

He had stayed with her the night he found out. Lay there as she poured her heart and soul out to him. The love and compassion he had felt for her at that moment was something he felt that if he lived a lifetime, would go unmatched. He had finally convinced her that she had to tell their parents. She had been reluctant, but he had promised he would be there when it happened. The next day, they had sat down with them. They had taken it like troopers, knowing that any reaction other than that of total support would have sent a fragile Casey over the edge.

Next, he had gone with her to tell Max's aunt and uncle. That had been the most trying time. Derek was still amazed at the reaction that had occurred in their home. They had told Casey that they couldn't deal with such a thing right now. They wished her luck but told her that they had to move on. Casey had been absolutely devastated and once again, it had been up to Derek to be the calm one.

Nora had taken Casey to see the doctor and they were assured that everything was going according to schedule. She would be going to the doctor every month now and he was thankful that was one thing he didn't have to worry about anymore.

Sometimes Derek really wondered who had taken over his body. Of course he loved his family and adored Marty, but this need to protect Casey was something that sometimes truly overwhelmed him. He had to check himself at moments. Like the other day, Tinker had come up to Casey to see how she was doing and it had taken everything in his power not to push him against the locker. All he had wanted to do was tell Tinker that he had things covered just fine and if she needed anyone he was there. It seemed as if his every thought was consumed by her.

He was brought out of those thoughts by a knock on his door. Sitting up, he grinned as Casey peaked around the door. "Are you busy?"

"Does it look like it? I'm sure there a million things I should be doing, but lazing around is much better, don't you think?"

She grinned as she walked towards the bed. Derek patted the spot beside him and she sat down.

Looking at her, he really couldn't read her expression. "What wrong?"

"Nothing, I guess."

"You guess?"

"_Okay._ I'm bored out of my mind. There's nothing to do. And when there's nothing to do I just sit and think. And when I sit and think, I…"

"You can stop there. I think I'm getting the picture. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know; that's why I came in here. What do you want to do?"

_You don't want to know what I want to do,_ he thought to himself. Straightening up and clearing his throat he spoke. "Tell you what; you're the one that's bored. You come up with the idea and I participate. No questions asked."

"Are you sure you want to risk that?"

He wanted to tell her that if she had wanted him to take up knitting or ballroom dancing, he would. All he wanted to do was make her happy, but instead he nodded his head yes.

"I don't know, but I do know I'm starving. Let's go get something to eat and we'll decide from there what we want to do."

"Sounds like a plan to me. Where do you want to go?"

Suddenly the smiling upbeat Casey became a very silent, solemn Casey. Looking down she whispered, "Smelly Nelly's."

Derek put his fingers under her chin, lifting her face until she was looking him in the eyes. "Really?"

With a new look of determination she began nodding. "I've got to face it sometime. And as long as we go in there with the understanding that I might have to leave at any moment, I want to try it."

Derek smiled broadly at her. "No problem. Case, I can't imagine what this is like, but I'm so proud of you."

When he looked in her eyes, he saw a light there that he hadn't seen in ages. And her smile, the real one that took his breath away, shone brightly.

Leaning over, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. Pulling back she once again looked him straight in the eye. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I really don't."

In that moment there were so many things he wanted to say. But instead, he pulled her back into a hug and whispered, "I don't know what I'd do without you either."

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Smelly Nelly's actually went okay. There weren't any of their friends there and they sat in comfortable silence as they ate their lunch. Derek was just about to order them hot fudge sundaes when his phone went off. "Hey, Sammy" he said answering it.

Casey couldn't hear what Sam was saying but she got the impression that he wanted Derek to do something when he said, "Actually I can't. Casey and I are just finishing lunch and I promised I do whatever she wanted today."

Casey began waving her hands, motioning for him to listen to her. Looking at her questioningly, he said, "Hold on just a minute. What?"

"I know what I want."

"Okay, just let me get off the phone and we'll talk about it."

"Wait! You don't understand. I know what I want. I want you to do whatever it is Sam wants you to do."

Derek began to shake his head no when she gave him a look he knew he had to address. Getting back on the phone with Sam he said, "Listen give me five minutes and I'll call you back."

Before he could protest she was talking. "Listen, you've put your life on hold for me. When's the last time you've actually done something with anyone other than me."

Derek was about to reply that it didn't matter, he would rather be with her, but she went on. "What did he want you to do?"

"Actually he wanted me to go the rink and play a pick up game with him and some of the team."

"Well then, you said that you'd do anything I said and I say go."

He began to protest when she added, "No protesting and no excuses. You need a Casey free afternoon."

"_I_ think I know what I need, and I can promise you that a Casey free afternoon is absolutely the furthest thing from it."

"Well sorry, but I beg to differ. Now call Sam back and let him know you'll meet him at the rink."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, go home and read a book or watch some TV."

"How about watching me instead? I can't stand the thought of you by yourself."

"Listen, I'm going to have to get used to it sooner or later, so it might as well be sooner."

Derek wanted to tell her that if he had anything to do with it, she'd never be by herself, but as usual he fought back the urge and simply said, "Well I prefer later. Now grab your coat, we're going to the rink. I'll call Sam on our way over."

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Casey had to admit she had enjoyed the afternoon. Derek was truly a man among boys when it came to hockey. She knew he had a bright future ahead of him and she couldn't help but feel a twinge. It wasn't a twinge of jealousy, though Casey envied that he would be able to go anywhere he wanted, but if she were honest, it was the fact that he would be leaving her and she would eventually have to be on her own. She had come to rely on him and she knew that it wouldn't last forever.

She was brought out of her thoughts when she felt someone come up behind her. Leaning down he whispered in her ear, "Well, have you died of boredom yet or did you enjoy it?"

Turning, she saw a grinning Sam standing behind her. Standing up to face him she smiled. "Well, if you call watching Derek school you all, _then_ _yes_, I had a great time."

He laughed and shook his head. "Gee Case; you sure know how to hurt a guy."

"Oh, I think your ego will survive just fine!"

"Listen Case, I know how hard things have been for you and that Derek is doing a great job of helping you, but if you ever need anything, just let me know. I know our past was a little shaky, but I think we've moved past that and I just want you to know I'm here."

"Thanks Sam. That really means a lot." Stepping towards him she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hug. Looking behind Sam, she saw Derek standing, face twisted and fists clenched. She saw a look on his face that was she couldn't quite decipher. All she knew was that he looked mad; well scratch that, more like upset.

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**Max's aunt and uncle's reaction to the baby, it was that way for a reason. I needed to get that in there for purposes to be known later!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I really think some of you might like where this chapter is headed.**

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Casey looked up and smiled at Derek, "You were great out…"

Derek cut her off before she could go any further. "I'm going to start the car. When you get finished, I'll be waiting for you." And he turned and let.

Casey pulled away from Sam and looked at him questioningly. Sam just shrugged his shoulders to signify that he was as clueless as she was as to why Derek was behaving in such a way.

"I better go. But thanks again, Sam. I really do appreciate it." With that Casey hurried out the door and toward Derek. "Derek! Der-_ek_, wait up!" But it was as if he weren't even hearing her. "Derek, I don't…" suddenly she stopped as her heal caught, and she fell with a great thud to the ground. She hit her head and the wind was knocked out of her.

Derek turned and a look of terror immediately overcame him. Running towards her he scooped her up in her arms. "I'm taking you to the hospital. God, Case, what were you doing?" he asked as he walked briskly towards the car. "How could you be so careless?"

Before she could even answer, he went on. "How do you feel? Are you all right?" He was an absolute wreck by this time.

Casey wasn't experiencing any pre-term labor but she did have one good-sized headache. Suddenly she was overwhelmed by the need to cry and by the time they had reached the hospital, they were both hysterical.

Derek rushed through the doors, looking for anyone who would listen. Finally a nurse went to the car with him and putting Casey in a wheelchair, they were sent to wait in a room. Silence filled the room and for the first time, in what now seemed like forever, they were at a loss for words. Casey would glance at Derek every once in a while, but it seemed to her that he was intent on avoiding her eyes. They could both feel the chasm between them and it broke their hearts.

Finally, the doctor came in. After looking over the information on the chart that had been provided to the nurse, he glanced up at Casey. "So how are you feeling right now?"

She shrugged. "I guess okay. I don't feel any pain that would indicate that something happened to the baby, but still I'm worried sick."

When Derek heard that, his knees gave way and he had to sit down. This was all his fault; he knew that his stupidity and jealousy had brought this on. He should have been with her, not traipsing off like an idiot. She had been trying to talk to him, to reach him and he had pulled a bone-headed Derek move. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to the baby.

He must have been lost in thought for a while because the next thing he knew, they were wheeling in a sonogram machine. Hooking it up, the doctor turned to him, "Don't you want to be over here for this?" Derek assumed that the doctor thought he was the father and he knew he should set the record straight, but something in him couldn't do it. He wanted to be a part of this baby's life so badly. If someone was going to tell the doctor the true situation it would have to be Casey, all Derek could do was stare at the machine and wait.

Soon a swooshing sound could be heard throughout the room and Derek's heart nearly jumped through his chest. Casey let out a relieved sigh and the doctor began to talk again. "The heart beat seems perfectly normal and I'd say that by the summersaults this little baby is doing, there are no indications that it's any worse for the wear. I do suggest that you go home and take it easy for the rest of the day and evening. You'll probably been pretty sore for a few days so don't over do it. Do either of you have any question?"

Both Derek and Casey, still at a loss for words, shook their heads no. The doctor turned off the machine and handed Casey a rag to wipe her stomach off. Telling them that if they had any questions or if anything changed, he would be on shift until tomorrow morning, he bid them goodbye and left.

Silently they walked back out to the car. When Derek started it and pulled out onto the road Casey finally spoke. "Listen, Derek, I don't know what happened, but…"

"Listen, Case, I really don't want to talk about this. Let's just get you home and up to bed."

"But…"

Derek began shaking his head, "End of discussion," he said, with as much conviction as he could muster.

Casey turned her head to look out the window and wiped away the tears that were slowing starting to roll down her cheeks. She just didn't understand. What had she done to make Derek react to her this way? It was as if every bit of progress they had made in the last few months was gone to him.

Pulling up at the house Derek came around and opened the car door to help her out. She started to open her mouth to say something but the look on her face let her know that nothing was up for discussion at the present time. Walking into the house, they stopped for Casey to let their parents know what had happened, minus the trying to catch up with Derek part, and to reassure them that she was okay and was going up to bed for the rest of the evening.

Derek helped her into her room and over to her bed. After she had scooted herself back to get more comfortable she started to say something, but realized that Derek had his back to her and was already walking out her door. He shut the door and once again the tears began to fall.

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Derek managed to make it to his room before his tears started to fall. Making it to his bed he laid back, his hands covering his face. He had never felt so helpless or out of control in his life. He could feel the pressure building in his chest, but no matter how hard he tried, soon his whole body shook with sobs. He knew his stupidity had inflicted this on Casey but he didn't know how to control himself. The feelings he had for Casey were so strong that it was just a constant battle. He knew the jealousy was irrational, but he couldn't help himself. The need he felt to love and protect her truly overwhelmed him. He had to tell her how he felt before he exploded, but deep down he knew that it would be the end of the relationship she had built with him. She would push him away, he just knew she would. She wouldn't understand and would be disgusted by the revelation.

His sobs had finally given way to short intakes of breath when he heard the door open. Sitting up, he quickly wiped away the last of his tears. Looking through his still cloudy eyes he saw a red-eyed Casey staring back at him. Gathering himself as best he could, he let out a sigh, "Casey, get back to bed. You know what the doctor told you to do for the rest of the day."

Shaking her head no, she began walking toward him. She sat down on his bed, directly in front of him. Lifting her hands, she cupped them around his face. Looking down, as if questioning if she should speak, she finally looked him in the eyes. "I don't understand what happened. Help me understand," she said as the tears began to silently fall to her cheeks again.

Derek had to look away. He hadn't thought he could be anymore heart-broken until that moment, but Casey wouldn't let it go. Making him look at her, she said again, "Help me understand, Derek."

Derek closed his eyes. How in the world could he tell her what was really on his mind? He didn't know what he'd do without Casey in his life. If he couldn't have her in the capacity he wanted then he would take anything he could get. His whole life revolved around this girl and he knew that nothing would matter without her. "There's nothing to understand. Now, you need to get back to bed." Removing her hands from his face he gently pushed them away.

Casey was beside herself. She needed Derek, desperately needed him. She wouldn't let it go, no matter how hard he tried to push her away. He had been her lifeline the last few months and she needed to know what she'd done wrong so she could fix it. "No! No, I won't go. I'm sitting in here until you tell me. I don't care if I have to shadow you everyday for the rest of my life, but so help me God, your going to tell me what I did wrong," she almost screamed.

"Nothing, okay Case, you didn't do anything. Now go back to bed."

"Yeah right, like that's going to work. Give me a little credit, I'm not stupid."

"Well, if you're not going back to bed then I'm going out for a while. I'll talk to you later." Jumping off his bed he quickly headed down the stairs, Casey hot on his heals. She followed behind him so closely that she was the one to shut the door behind them when they went onto the porch. Grabbing his arm, she turned him around with as much force as possible.

"Stop it Case, okay? Do want to lose your baby? Listen, I'm going out for a while and you need to go up there take care of yourself."

Suddenly, Casey's total demeanor changed as if a sudden bolt of revelation had overcome her. Letting go of his arm, a look came upon her face that Derek was sure was the most heart wrenching sight he had ever seen. She began crying again, and through her sobs she got out, "I…I understand. I'm s…so sorry I've monopolized your time like this. I really am. I've been so unfair making your whole life revolve around me. I was being so selfish; it's just that you were the only one who made anything seem normal. I didn't give any consideration to how this was making you feel and how I was taking you away from your life. I won't bother you anymore."

Turning to walk toward the door, she was stopped by two hands on her shoulders. Turning she was enveloped by Derek's strong arms. He held her as close as he could, praying that he would choose the right words. Scattering kisses on top of her head, he finally bent his head down until he was looking directly in her eyes. "Are you sure you want the truth, absolutely, positively, one hundred percent certain?"

Looking at up at him she slowly nodded.

He released her so he could get a better look at her. Putting his hands on either side of her face, just as she had done to him earlier in his room and mustering up every bit of courage he could, he began. "_You _didn't do anything wrong. Don't ever think that. This is all my fault. It's my fault and I'm so sorry, but I can't help it. I'm such an idiot! I mean it, I'm an idiot, really I am. I'm jealous and stupid and it's all my fault."

Casey mind was whirling. She was trying to process all that he was saying but for some reason one word kept leaping out at her. Looking him straight in the eyes, she simple said one word, "Jealous?"

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	9. Chapter 9

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Derek took a deep breath. He knew that Casey was wondering where this could be going. He knew that he could either pull back and try to smooth it over, telling her that he felt a brotherly need to protect her, or he could go ahead and lay it all out on the line.

He felt trapped. Trapped between the truth, which he knew could drive her away forever, and trying to smooth things over and go back to the way things had been for the past few months. A war was raging inside Derek and all this time Casey patiently waited for an answer. Her beautiful blue eyes looking at him, seeking to see something that would let her know what he was thinking.

Finally he found words. "Listen, it's freezing out here and you really shouldn't be on your feet. Please let me take you upstairs."

Casey crossed her arms and if there had been sand, Derek was sure she would have dug her heals in. Shaking her head no she answered, "I asked you a question and I expect an answer, an _honest_ answer. I can't stand another day like today. I haven't seen you treat me like that in forever. Even before the accident, we had made peace and were civil. I need to know what brought this on."

Sighing, he slowly nodded his head. "Okay, we'll talk, I promise. But we'll do it up in your room, with you sitting down and resting. Take it or leave it, there's no room for discussion."

Casey immediately grabbed his arm, opened the door and pulled him up the stairs. Once safely in her room she shut the door and turned to him, her face telling him she expected him to start talking.

"I don't think so. I told you, on your bed or no deal. Above all, you've got to take care of yourself and the baby. That's the most important thing right now."

Casey rolled her eyes, "God, you are _so _demanding!" But she followed his orders and took a seat with her back against her headboard.

"Just one of my many charms," he said as a smirk appeared.

Crossing her arms, she cocked an eyebrow and responded, "Well Prince Charming, I'm waiting."

Derek ran his fingers through his hair and began to pace. An inner struggle had taken hold of him and he was truly at a loss for how to start. How could he ever, in a million years, verbalize the feelings that swirled around in him? He had no idea how to start, and if he ever did, he was afraid he'd ramble incoherently and make a total mess of things, as if that hadn't happened enough already today.

Taking a deep breath he tried to steady himself. Turning away so he wouldn't have to look at her, he closed his eyes and began to speak. "Case, I really don't know where to start or what you want me to say. I'm afraid whatever I say will be wrong and I don't think I could stand it if you didn't want me in your life anymore or if I scared or disappointed you."

Casey was utterly and completely confused. She couldn't imagine what he could ever say that could scare her or make her not want him in her life anymore. "Derek, _this_ is scaring me. I don't understand what could be so bad that you'd think I wouldn't want you around anymore. Whatever it is, just say it. I promise I won't push you away. You just need to tell me what it is."

Still not looking at her, he went on. "See that's just it, to me it's the most natural thing in the world, but to you, well, I don't even want to think about how badly you could take this. When I told you I was jealous, I meant jealous. Jealous as in keep your hands of my girl jealous, don't you know she's with me jealous."

"Casey, I've had feelings for you for a long time. I couldn't stand you being with Max. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but it's the truth. I never wished for anything to happen to him, but when it did, I just wanted to be there for you, to show you that I could be responsible and reliable. I wanted to be there for you when you needed someone to talk to or just to hold you when you cried. And the more you became dependent on me, the deeper my feelings became."

He paused there for a moment, taking a deep breath and trying to will himself to finish. He knew that it was sink or swim at this moment, she was either going to accept his words or push him away forever. Taking one more deep breath, he pressed on. "But the night I found out about the baby, I knew there was absolutely no denying it or trying to push it away. I was head over heals in love with you. It's literally been eating me alive trying to keep it in."

"And when I saw you hugging Sam, all I could see or think about was that you would start turning to him, that you wouldn't need me anymore. Casey, I know this probably sounds crazy to you, but you're like air to me. I need you to breathe. The thought that you might not need me anymore absolutely petrifies me. _I_ want to be the one to help you through all this. I want to hold you and tell you it's all going to be okay. I want you to need me and only me. I know how easy it would be for you to turn to Sam for support. He's the smart choice, the easy choice."

He stopped there. He desperately wanted to turn around and see her reaction, but he couldn't. He couldn't risk seeing a look that indicated she was anything but okay with the things he was telling her. "Casey, I love you. I mean it. I love you more than anything. I know it probably sounds crazy to you, but to me it sounds like the only thing that makes any sense at all. I don't just want to be the one that's there for you; I _need _to be the one that's there for you. I know this is a lot to digest, but I had to get it off my chest. I'm sure you want some time alone, so I'm going to my room. Above all, please don't let this scare you away. I'm begging you to please let me help you through this. I know you don't feel this, but don't let it stop you from letting me be there. If I couldn't do that, I don't know what I'd do." And without even looking back he walked out of her door and through his own.

He didn't even bother to turn on the light. He just lay there and thought about how his life was over. She'd never look at him the same again. She'd find someone else to rely on. And if that person turned out to be Sam, he couldn't even begin to imagine how he would handle it. How in the world could he stand by and watch her with someone else? He had ready had to do that for too long with Max.

He was startled from his thoughts by a light shining through as his door opened. He didn't even bother to sit up. He knew it was Casey, and she was coming to tell him that she couldn't be around him anymore. That he'd have to get over these feelings and move on.

She closed the door behind her and didn't make a sound as she silently crept across the room, trying to avoid the many piles that lay on the floor. Finally, she reached his bed and lay down beside him, snuggling up to him as if begging him to gather her in his arms. He did so gladly, hoping that anything she had to say would give him hope that he could still be there for her, a part of her life.

He felt her move her hand up to touch his face. His eyes had adjusted and he could see her looking intently at him. "I've felt it too," she whispered.

"What?" he asked, not sure that he had even heard her right.

"I've felt it too," she said more boldly. "If I'm honest with myself, my dependency on you is about much more than comfort. I was so scared tonight when you started acting that way. Derek, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I'm completely and utterly dependent on you. And the thing is, I like it that way. Sam is Sam. He told me what a great job you were doing taking care of me. He did tell me I could come to him if I needed to, but he realized that you were the one that was fulfilling that need."

Her eyes filled with tears again and he pulled her even closer. She felt completely whole for the first time in months, but deep down she could still feel a seed of guilt. How could she be coming to Derek like this, so soon after Max? She had loved Max, she really had. But she knew in her heart that what had attracted her to him the most was that he was the kinder, gentler version of Derek, the star on his sports team with a flock of popular friends. And now, looking back, maybe to Derek, Kendra had been the hipper, more popular version of her keener self. They had settled for the safe, easy choice instead of following their hearts.

Derek's heart was racing. Never in a million years did he ever expect her to come to him or tell him these things. Running his fingers through her hair, he hesitated for a brief moment, before reaching his ultimate decision. He slowly leaned down and kissed her. It was a kiss filled with admiration and tenderness and compassion, and all the love he had come to feel for her.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair afterwards, wishing that it was his baby she was carrying, but knowing that it really didn't matter in the end. He would love and protect both of them forever, if she'd let him. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she said cautiously as she wiped away her tears. She didn't know what the future would hold, or even tomorrow for that matter. All she knew was that in this moment, all was right in the world for the first time, in a very long time.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Let the drama begin!**

* * *

Derek pulled up in front of the house. Getting out of the car, he ran around to the other side to help Casey out. She was starting to expand a bit. Of course, to him she looked perfect, but to her, well, she looked like a blimp.

It had been three weeks since they'd had their heart to heart. The best three weeks of Derek's life. He had talked to his Dad the next day, wanting him to pave the way to Nora before they sat down with them. George had said he really wasn't surprised. He said that he and Nora had even commented on the relationship that had been developing between them. They did admit to it being unconventional, but then the whole situation was rather unconventional in itself.

They had told their close friends and they had steadfastly stood beside them, but they hadn't felt the need to flaunt their relationship at school. It wasn't that they were keeping it from others; they just didn't care one way or the other if those insignificant people in their lives knew.

And to top it all off, tonight his team was playing for the championship. It was a goal that he had worked towards for four, long years. He would be playing before a sold out crowd in the biggest game of his life. The adrenaline was already pumping so fast through his body that he nearly dragged Casey up the stairs and into the house.

"Derek, if you haven't noticed, I'm really not up for running sprints at the moment," Casey said as she pulled her arm out of his grasp.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" he said looking concerned. When she smiled and shook her head yes, he breathed in relief. "It's just that I'm so pumped for tonight. It seems like I've waited forever for this, and now I can't believe it's actually happening. And might I add, that with my good luck charm there," he said as he pulled her close, "there's absolutely no way I can lose."

She reached up to kiss his lips softly. "I think it has less to do with me and a lot more to do with your ability, but I'll take the complement."

Just as she was about to kiss him again when Nora came in and exclaimed, "You're home! Casey, I've been waiting for you to get here. You got some mail that I've wanted to open so badly. It's a letter from Boston College."

Casey immediately pulled away from Derek. "Really, where is it?"

"I laid it on the desk in your room."

Casey started up the stairs, Derek following closely behind. When she reached the letter she picked it up and closed her eyes. She knew that it didn't really matter what the letter said because she was resigned to the fact of going to the local university, but still she knew she'd be devastated if she didn't get in.

"Come on Case, open it," Derek urged.

Slowly as to not rip the envelope too badly she slowly opened it and pulled out the letter.

"Well?" Derek asked, growing impatient.

"I got in. They said that my application was very impressive and that there would probably be scholarship money available should I choose to attend there."

Derek pulled her into his arms once again. "That's great Case. You were accepted into your first choice. That's quite an honor."

"Yeah, big honor," she said dryly. "Listen, I'm tired. I think I'll lay down before the game tonight. Wake me up an hour before you're leaving and I'll get ready and ride down with you."

"Sounds like a plan! Listen, I really am proud of you. See, even people who've never met you can tell how special you are."

Derek gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead and turned and left the room. _Yeah, real special,_ Casey thought to herself, _so special I can't even go._

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They pulled up in front of the rink. Killing the car, Derek didn't move to get out. Casey looked at him waiting for him to move or say something, but it didn't happen.

Finally giving up on him she asked, "Are we sitting out here all night, or are we going to go in?"

He turned and grinned. "We're going in. It's just that, I don't know, it almost feels like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everything in my life is perfect. You know, you just wonder sometimes, is this too good to be true?"

"I know exactly what you mean. But take it from an expert, just go with the moment. Right now is all we have and who knows what the future will hold. We just have to take what's given to us and run with it. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. You've earned tonight. More than anyone that will be on the ice tonight, you've earned it. Now, I came hear to watch you win a championship, not get frostbite sitting in a parking lot."

She reached for her door, but Derek stopped her. "Listen, I know I tell you all the time, but I've got to do it again. I love you so much. This wouldn't mean anything, if I didn't have you here with me. I can't imagine experiencing anything without you anymore. It's like there isn't a Derek anymore. It's Derek and Casey. Well, actually it's Derek, Casey and baby," he said smiling as he reached over and placed his hand on her stomach. "All right, I'm shaking off the sentimental Derek. It's time for hockey Derek to take over. Let's get in there so I can smash some people."

Casey laughed and they walked into the arena hand in hand.

"Walk me to the locker room. I need my Casey fix for as long as I can get it," he said raising his eyebrows. Letting go of his hand, she shoved him playfully and was about to respond when Derek's coach came up.

"Derek, glad you're here. I want to show you something." He motioned for them to follow him to the arena where he pointed to a group of men sitting together close to the ice. "Those are representatives from the top six hockey universities in Canada and the United States. They're here to see one person tonight and that's you. I'm not trying to put any pressure on you, but they're already fighting over you. You play well tonight and you can name which school. Plus, playing for one of those schools, well you're almost guaranteed a career in the big leagues." The coach reached over and placed both his hands on Derek's shoulders, "The sky's the limit, Derek."

"Thanks coach," Derek managed to get out as the older man walked away.

Derek looked at Casey in awe. "Can you believe they're all here just to watch me play? I've dreamt about this my whole life and now, it's finally happening. Talk about pressure."

Casey could feel the knot forming in her stomach. "That's great Derek. I'm so happy for you, I really am. Listen, I'm going to go find a seat and let you get ready. Sheldon and Emily should be getting here and I told them we'd sit together."

She turned and began walking away, but Derek reached out and stopped her. "Hey, are you okay and what? No good luck kiss?"

Casey tried to put on her best happy face. "I'm fine, just nervous I guess. Come here," she said as she reached her hands behind his head and pulled him close. "Derek, you go out there and play like you've never played before. If anyone deserves to live out their dream, it's you. Show those university reps what they came to see." She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips, closing her eyes and lingering for a moment. She wanted to remember this forever, the love radiating from one to the other. Finally, she pulled away and wished him, "Good luck!"

Turning she began walking away. She already knew what she had to do, but it didn't make it any easier. She knew that Derek would get offers from each of those six schools and then when he realized that he would be leaving her, he'd turn them down. She knew he'd tell her hockey was hockey and that he could play it at the local university just as easily as at some high profile school, but she couldn't let him do that. He had given her life back to her and she wasn't about to take his away from him. And once again, her heart broke for what seemed like the millionth time in the last few months.

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Naturally they had won, seven to three. Derek of course had been named MVP, scoring five of the goals himself. Casey knew she had to go back there and see him, congratulate him. She had asked Emily to come with her and to please go along with whatever she had to say.

When they reached the locker room door Derek was standing outside, surrounded by the reps. Each one was taking their turn handing him their card, gushing over his play and telling him that they'd be getting in contact with him soon.

Casey stood in the background not wanting Derek to see her. She didn't want Derek to bring her into this. She didn't even want the reps to know that she was in the picture. Finally, they had all disbursed and Casey and Emily headed towards Derek.

Derek's eyes lit up when he saw Casey walking towards him. "Boy, did my good luck charm work her magic tonight, five goals and the MVP trophy. This calls for a celebration. Some of the guys are going out for pizza and then over to Sam's. Let me grab my coat and we'll head that way."

Before Derek could go back into the locker room, Casey stopped him. "Listen, I'm kind of tired and I'm not really up for a celebration, but I don't want you to miss out. Emily and Sheldon are going to drive me home."

"It's no big deal, I'll just tell Sam you're tired and that we're going home."

"No Derek, that's not what I said. Emily will take me home. Now, I want you to go out and have fun. You deserve it."

Derek looked at Casey quizzically. He knew something was wrong, he just couldn't figure it out. "Listen, really, it's no big deal, we'll…"

"What part of no don't you understand? I said, go, have a good time, you deserve it more than anyone I know." She smiled genuinely at those words. It was true, after everything he had helped her through, he deserved everything good that came his way.

Before he could reach her to give her a kiss she had turned and grabbed Emily by the arm and headed out of the arena. She just kept telling herself that she was doing the right thing and that somehow, someway she would have to find a way to live her life without Derek.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

Derek flipped his phone closed again. Frustration was evident on his face as once again Casey's phone went to voicemail.

"Hey, lighten up, Mr. MVP Man!" Sam said, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "You've had that phone attached to your ear since we got here. How many times have you called, twenty? And the pizza hasn't even gotten here yet!"

"I have not called twenty times, more like eight. And something's not right. Why would she have her phone turned off?"

"Listen, you're over analyzing this. Maybe it died and she hasn't charged it yet. _Or_ _maybe_ she was really tired and she wanted to go to sleep and she knew that if she didn't turn it off, you'd be bothering her constantly."

"I do not bother her constantly. I… I…. okay it's not bothering. It's called caring. And something wasn't right when she left tonight. I just want to talk to her and make sure everything's okay."

"I know man, but lighten up. Can't you at least wait until we eat? You're putting a damper on the celebration."

"All right, I give. I won't call again, well until after we eat."

"Okay, bro. I'll take anything I can get at this point."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Derek held to his word, but pulled out his phone as soon as they walked out of the restaurant. Once again, Casey voicemail immediately came on.

"Listen," he said turning to Sam, "I'm sorry, but I've got to beg out. There's no way I can have a good time until I find out about Casey. It's too late to call the house and I don't want to wake up my parents. I won't be any fun this way. I promise its better that I go."

"All right, all right, but I want to go on record as saying that you, my friend, are acting like an old married man. What happen to party animal Derek?"

"He fell in love, and maybe if you're lucky enough, someday you will too," Derek said.

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Derek walked into the house quietly. It was 1:00 in the morning and he didn't want to wake anyone. In fact, he wouldn't even wake Casey. All he wanted to do was check on her and make sure she was safe and asleep in bed.

Derek thought back to what Sam had said. He didn't even realize he had changed that much. It just seemed like a natural progression to him. He'd had his fun and sown plenty of wild oats. In fact, he wished he'd had some of it to do over again. The endless girls seemed so trivial now. He was ashamed to have shared certain situations with them. It was all so pointless and meaningless and he wished he could take it all back.

Creeping up the stairs he pushed Casey's door open. Not wanting to wake her, he didn't turn the light on. He cautiously walked through the dimly lit room and was startled to find Casey's bed perfectly made and no sign of Casey anywhere.

Derek began to panic. Surely something hadn't happened and no one called him. He rushed down the stairs and into his parent's room. When he threw on the lights, a startled George and Nora sat up.

"What are you doing Derek?" George asked as he squinted at the clock. "It's 1:00 in the morning. Are you drunk?"

"Uh, no, but I am scared out of my mind. Where's Casey? I've tried to call her all night and I just keep getting her voice mail. Then I come home and she's not in bed, of course I'm going to assume that it's not good."

"Derek," Nora began, "she went home with Emily. She told us she was spending the night there. She said she had a lot to think about and that she wanted to talk it over with Em."

"Think about! What's there to think about?" Derek asked as he began to pace, running his fingers through his hair. "I don't understand. She was fine before the game, but then after, I don't know, she just acted different. What did she say? I need you to tell me exactly what she said."

"I've told you already. Those were her exact words. She said she had a lot to think about and she wanted to talk to Emily about it."

Derek pulled out his cell phone and began looking through his phonebook.

"Who do you think you're calling at this hour?" his dad asked.

"Emily's cell, if Casey won't answer her phone, maybe Emily will."

George began shaking his head. "Put it up Derek. You're not calling at this hour. If Casey's not answering her phone, I'm sure there's a completely logical explanation. An explanation you'll find out about in the morning. If Casey had wanted to talk to you tonight, she would have called you. Now, go to bed and get some sleep. There's nothing you can do, well let me rephrase that, there's nothing you're _going _to do about it tonight. It will be morning before you know it and then you can find out what's going on."

"But…" Derek started.

Nora interrupted. "Listen Derek, Casey has been through a whirlwind of emotions in the last few months. I'm not saying anything is wrong, but maybe she just needs someone else to talk to. Someone that's not so personally involved in everything. I know how you feel about Casey, but maybe she just needs to talk to someone else."

Derek didn't accept that explanation, he knew that it didn't make sense. They had been all the other had needed for months now. Something had changed, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what.

"Please, can't I just…"

"No, Derek. This isn't up for discussion. In fact, this discussion is over. Go up to your room and try and get some sleep."

Derek shook his head. He didn't like this; he didn't like this at all. Something was definitely wrong and he wouldn't rest until he found out what it was.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Little did Derek know that had he called Emily's cell phone he would have found a very awake Emily trying to talk Casey down from one of her famous rants.

"Case, really," Emily tried to reason, "do you honestly think Derek is just going to magically take this all in stride? I've know Derek Venturi a lot longer than you have, and he isn't going to take this well at all. You know the saying, because I've heard you say it too many times, 'What Derek wants, Derek gets' and what he wants more than anything is you. He's not going to let this rest."

"Emily, I know it will be hard on him, but I can promise you that it won't be any harder on him than it is on me. But he'll never take one of those scholarships as long as I'm in the picture. I'll come up with an excuse. I'll just tell him that it was too soon and I had my feeling confused, that I was just transferring my feelings for Max over to him and now I realized that I really don't love him."

"Oh yeah, that will work,_ not_! What it will do, is go over like a lead balloon. Sorry Case, but I've seen you two together. There is absolutely no way he's buying that. A blind man could see the love and chemistry that just oozes between you two."

"Whatever Em, I'll come up with something. I just have to make sure that he takes one of those offers and you're going to have to help me. Derek sees right through me and I need you to help me convince him that we're over. Please! I've never needed your help so much in my life."

"Casey, you're my best friend and I love you, but I just don't think this is going to work. Maybe Derek's dreams aren't the same anymore."

"I know, and that's my fault. He told me himself that he had dreamed about this since he was a little boy. But now, he's caught up in my situation, and I don't want him to settle because of me."

Emily shook her head. "I'll try Casey, but I don't think this is going to end with a positive result. I can't believe he's not over here right now. How many times do you think he's tried to call your phone? And what do you think he's going to do when he finds out you're over here spending the night with me? You told him you were tired and all you wanted to do was go to bed."

"I don't know, Emily," Casey said. "I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I'm sure we'll find out soon."

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

Crazy! Crazy was the only word that Derek could come up with to describe the situation that was unfolding before him. The situation with Casey was crazy. How could things have changed so suddenly? And also, his dad telling him to wait until morning to try and talk to her. That was really crazy. Since when did he ever wait anything out? He was a take charge kind of person, and right now he was charging over to Emily's to talk some sense into Casey.

Derek walked around the back of the Davis' house and saw that Emily's bedroom light was on. Reaching in his pocket, he searched for Emily's cell number and pressed dial.

"It's him," Emily said looking at the number that was coming up on the phone.

"Don't answer it. Maybe he'll think we're asleep."

Finally the phone quit ringing and the signal popped up showing that she had a new voice mail. "He just left a message. I don't think this is going to be good," she added as she pressed in the code to hear the message.

Pressing the button so the speaker phone would come on, Derek's voice was soon heard throughout the room. "Emily, its Derek and I know that you're awake. Right now I'm standing outside looking up into your bedroom window and I see the light. You have five minutes to let me in the back door or I'm coming around to the front and ringing the doorbell. I'm not leaving until I talk to Casey. Your time starts now."

Emily walked over to the window and looking down. She could see a very irritated Derek with his arms crossed, staring straight back up at her.

Turning back towards Casey she sighed. "I told you Case, there's no way he's going to let this go. I don't want him waking up my parents and Demi. Just go down there and talk to him. I really think you need too." Just then a text message popped up on her phone. It read, '3 minutes and counting'.

"He's counting down the minutes Casey. Go down there and talk to him."

"No, no way! I can't! Not tonight anyway. Can't you please go talk to him for me? Tell him that I'm asleep and you were up talking to Sheldon. Anything, Emily! I just can't face him tonight."

Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. "Girl, you owe me big time. You can't even imagine what you're going to have to do for me someday to even come close to making up for this. I'm like a lamb getting led to the slaughter. He's going to eat me alive."

Casey got up and hugged Emily. "I'll do it. Whatever it is, I'll do it. Just go down there for me."

She was about to say more but Emily's phone went off again. This time the message read, '1 minute and I'm coming in!'

"I'm going, I'm going, but I can't promise you anything." With that she was out the door and down the stairs.

When she reached the back door Derek was standing there waiting.

"Glad to see you came to your senses," Derek said as he started to come through the door.

"Hold on! Who said you were coming in?" Emily asked as she placed her hand on Derek's chest to stop him.

"I said, and I'd say that's good enough."

"Listen, Casey's asleep. I was up talking to Sheldon on the phone. In the morning, I'll tell Casey you came by." She began to close the door but it was Derek's turn to stop her.

"See, I have a couple of problems with that. One, I want to see Casey, even if she is asleep and two, I know she's not. I saw her walk over and hug you right before you came down. If you want to lie to me, you might want to make sure that you're a little more careful next time."

Emily's heart began to race. Oh no, it was just like she had told Casey. He was like a vulture circling his prey. How in the world was she going to get herself out of this one?

"Listen Derek, Casey doesn't want to see you right now. I don't want to go into the specifics, so just go home. Please don't start this tonight. It won't do anyone any good."

"Sorry Emily, but it's too late for not starting anything. As far as I'm concerned the minute she wouldn't talk to me it started. She started it, but I'm going to finish it, now let me in the door or I'll wake up the whole house."

Emily pushed Derek further outside, and walked out herself, closing the door behind her. "Derek, can't you just leave it alone for right now. Even you're smart enough to realize that she doesn't want to talk to you. Just let it be. When she's ready, I'm sure she'll let you know what's going on."

Derek was livid by this point. He was trying to control his temper but he knew that it wasn't going to hold for much longer. Taking a deep breath he tried to calm himself. "Emily, I'm going to ask you one more time. Please, let me in to see her. Can you not see what this is doing to me? I don't understand why she's shutting me out like this. If she has a problem, I need to help her."

Emily knew what she was about to say was going to blow him away, but she had no choice. Gathering up as much courage as she could, she looked him straight in the eye. "Did you ever think that maybe you're the problem?"

He felt like he'd been sucker punched. Never in a million years had he let himself believe that he would hear those words. Finally he managed to get out, "What?"

Standing a little straighter and trying to look as convincing as she could, she repeated, "Did you ever think that maybe you're the problem? I mean, why else would she ignore your phone calls or for that matter, ask to sleep over so she wouldn't have to face you?"

"What the hell is going on here?" he asked throwing his hands in the air. "I mean, before the game we were fine. She seemed a little absent minded before she left me to go sit down, but after the game, everything changed. What in the world could have happened in that short amount of time?"

"I don't know Derek. It's really not my place to tell, but I do know that she doesn't want to tell you anything tonight. Just go home. She'll talk to you when she's ready."

Yeah right, like that was going to happen. There was no way he was going to just go home and wait, Derek thought to himself. He had to think of something and he had to think of something fast. Trying to muster up as much Venturi charm as he could at the moment and trying to appear calm, he started, "Emily, I understand where you're coming from. I know you want what's best for Casey, but can't you see, I'm what's best for her. She needs me. Just let me see her. I know it's got to be some big misunderstanding. If I could have just five minutes I know that it would all be over and everyone would be happy again."

"Derek, I promised her that I'd get you to leave. Please don't make me break my promise. I'm sure she'll talk to you later. She's just really struggling with something right now."

"Exactly! That's the problem. She's struggling with something and no one wants to bother to tell me what it is. If anyone deserves to know, it's me. Just tell me so I can fix it."

"Derek, I'm not going into this. Just go home."

He folded his arms and looked her straight in the eyes. "I'm not leaving. I told you what I was going to do if you didn't let me in and I meant it."

He left her no choice, she was going to have to pull out Casey's lame excuse, but oh how she dreaded it. She didn't even want to imagine what his reaction was going to be. "Derek, I really don't think you want to know what she had to say."

"Try again. That's all I do want. You can tell me now or I'm going to start making a lot of racket."

"Stop it! You're just going to upset her."

"At this point in time I don't really care. An upset Casey is a heck of a lot better than no Casey at all. Now tell me, what did she say?"

Emily closed her eyes. Do it, just say it, she willed herself. "She told me that she felt like she'd rushed into this. She said she had taken all her old feelings for Max and just piled them onto you, kind of like a replacement. She said that she realized that she really didn't love you and that she was still hung up on Max." There she had done it. She had gotten it out without choking on her words.

Derek immediately began shaking his head no. "That doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense at all. She told me she had felt it too. She tells me she loves me all the time. You don't kiss someone like she kisses me and then say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, I was just substituting you for my dead boyfriend'." Derek was beyond livid now. No way, no way was this the truth. He tried to rationalize it in his head, but there was just no way. He had to get to her. He knew that if he could just get to her then they could work this out.

"Derek, I'm sorry. I'm just telling you what she wanted me too. I don't want to hurt you, I really don't. Please, just give her some time."

Time! No way was he giving her any time. Time would just make things worse. He knew that if he could just see her then surely she couldn't deny their relationship. He was positive that she couldn't look him straight in the eye and tell him these things. There was more to this and he wouldn't rest until he found out what it was.

Trying to be as calm as he could, he walked toward Emily, standing as close to her as he could. "Emily I just don't believe it. I know how we were in the car before the game. I know what the last few weeks have been like. I'm not resting until I see her."

He was around Emily before she ever knew what hit her. He opened the door and ran up the stairs making his way to Emily's room. Emily was right behind him, but she wasn't fast enough. Derek threw the door open and there on the bed sat a distraught Casey, hugging a pillow tight to her chest.

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

Casey immediately closed her eyes and put her head down when she saw him charge through the door. She had known deep down that it wouldn't be that easy. That there was no way he would take anything Emily had said at face value. This was Derek they were dealing with and Derek only played by one set of rules, his.

Still not opening her eyes, she felt the bed sink down and knew instantly that he was right beside her.

Still not looking up, she heard Emily, "Casey, I'm really sorry. I tried, but he tricked me. And he won't listen to a thing I said."

Still not looking up, she answered, "Its okay Em, really it is." Then she looked straight up and into Derek's eyes, "I don't know what made me think he'd listen to reason. I mean how many different ways can a person be told, leave her alone, she doesn't want to see you, before it sinks in. Oh, that's right, I forget, he's Derek, and he answers to no one."

Emily was shocked at the tone Casey had taken. She couldn't imagine that this was going to go anywhere but downhill and she didn't want to witness the carnage that could occur. "I think I'll let you two have some time together. Casey, I'll be right downstairs if you need anything and Derek, use your brain." Emily closed the door behind her and finally it was just the two of them again.

Casey had expected there to be silence. She was sure that he would wait for her to talk, so she was taken aback when he started right in.

"Excuse me, but_ I_ don't answer to anyone? I believe I've been at your beck and call for months now. And don't you dare talk about me listening to reason. You know what, if there had been any reason to listen to I might have done it, but there's nothing, and I mean nothing, reasonable about anything that has happened since the game."

He stopped there, hoping that he would at least light a fire under her and she would start talking. Heck, she could rant to high heavens for all he cared, as long as she talked to him. But nothing, he got absolutely nothing.

"Listen, you can make this easy or I can make it really hard. All you have to do is tell me what's wrong. I can fix it and this can be done."

Casey rolled her eyes and shook her head. "What makes you think you can fix anything? Oh, that's right, you're the all mighty Derek Venturi, and what ever you say goes. I don't have to talk to you, I don't have to say one word to you, but I will. In fact, I'll say two. We're through. In fact I'll make it even clearer, _we…are…through_!"

Derek had been sure that he would come up here and they'd work it out, but for the first time since he saw her, he started worrying. He couldn't let her know that she was getting to him. If she saw any sign of weakness she'd think she had him. No, he had to be strong. Mustering up the best smug face he could come up with, he looked her straight in the eyes, "No we're not."

"Excuse you?"

"I said no _we're_ not. _We_ are not now, nor will _we_ ever be through. _I_ will never be through with you. My God Case, my whole life revolves around you. I'm willing to do what ever it takes to make sure that you and the baby are taken care of."

"Wake up Derek. You have some preconceived notion about being some knight in shining armor. I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself. And here's a newsflash for you, whether you want to believe it or not, I am not your responsibility and this baby is sure not your responsibility. In fact, I think you're just in love with the idea of this."

"So let me get this straight, you're trying to tell me how I feel. Some how, miraculously you believe that you know better than I do what I'm really thinking? What, you got inside my head last night while I was sleeping and figured this all out? Wait, no that wouldn't work because we were fine this morning. In fact, I distinctly remember someone attacking me in the bathroom after we brushed our teeth. What was it you said, oh that's right, I think it went something like this, 'I'll never get tired of kissing you'. And evidently you didn't get in there before the game because everything was just fine. So tell me, exactly when did you come to believe that you know just how I feel?"

He was getting mad. He was trying, really trying, to be patient, but it was wearing dangerously thin. It was all so ludicrous. "Casey, I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere. So you can start talking or," he said changing his tone of voice and reaching out to touch her check, "I can just sit here and stare at your beautiful face."

She reached up and slapped his hand away. "Don't! Don't do that again!"

"Then answer my freakin' question! What makes you feel like you have the right to decide how I feel? Because guess what Casey, I know exactly how I feel," and then he stopped. Closing his eyes he thought about his next words. Somehow he had to convey what was really in his heart. "Casey, do you know what I want? What I really want?" Stopping again, He placed his hands on either side of her face to make sure that she had to look him in the eyes. "The absolute only thing I want is to be with you. Every time I see you, I still get butterflies. And when we're together and not even saying anything, because we don't even need words, I'm awed."

He stopped. Removing his hands from her face, he gently placed them on her stomach. "And when I'm holding you and I feel the baby move between us, it takes my breath away. I don't care who've you've been with. I don't care what you've done. All I care about is that I love you and this baby more than anything in this world, and there's nothing I won't do for us to be together."

Casey knew he meant it. He had meant every word he said, but the last words, the ones about doing anything for them to be together. They only reiterated the stance she had taken. Somehow she had to get him to leave her alone.

Taking a deep breath she knew what she had to say. She was going to have to approach this from a different angle. "Derek, I don't doubt that you care about me, I really don't. And I can promise you that I care about you. But maybe it all just happened too fast. You were there when I needed someone. My emotions were all over the place and my hormones were in over drive. I needed someone to be there and you were. I'll never forget what you did for me; I really don't think I could have survived without you at the time."

She couldn't help thinking about what he had said before the game, about waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was about to come down hard, and it killed her. "But that Casey, the one who couldn't do anything on her own; I can't be that Casey anymore. I've put that Casey behind me and this Casey, well she's independent. I've got to be responsible and stand on my own two feet. I made my lot in life and I've accepted it. I'm going to university here and I will graduate and make a life for myself and my child. But you, your picture is so much bigger, the skies the limit for you Derek. You've got the world at your feet right now and you've got to run with it."

She stopped. She was getting off track. She gathered her thoughts, trying to make sure that she didn't give too much away. "Derek, it's okay, I don't need saving anymore. It's time for you to move on. Pick a university and go. It's always been your dream…"

He interrupted her before she could go on, "Please don't tell me what my dreams are. Because I know what I dream about every night, hell for that matter, every day. I dream about you Case, you and me."

"Listen, from the first time you ever told anyone what you wanted to be, what was it?"

He didn't answer her, he could feel where this was going and he didn't want any part of it.

"Answer me Derek. I want the truth."

He sighed, "A professional hockey player."

"And when you were five?"

"Same."

"And ten?"

"Same?"

"And…"

"Stop it Case, just stop it. I know where this is going so forget it. It doesn't work."

"Derek, what did you tell me after we looked out and saw all those scouts sitting there waiting to watch you."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't remember."

"Derek, yes you do. What did you tell me? I want the truth."

"I told you that I had dreamt about this my whole life and that now it was finally coming true."

"Exactly, you said your whole life Derek! That means that there's a part of you that still wants that."

He could feel her coming in for her closing arguments and he knew he had to stop her. To find something to say that would make her change her mind. "Casey, you have to listen to me. I mean really listen because I'm about to tell you something that you have to understand, to believe. None of it, and I mean none of it, means anything without you and the baby."

Casey gave a small, sad smile. "Derek I really think you believe what you're saying, but who knows what you'll feel like ten years from now. Maybe it won't even take that long. A few years down the road, you could be sitting in a little apartment, struggling to make ends meet, raising a child that's not even yours. And one day, it will hit you. You gave it all up for that."

"Stop it, I'm serious, stop it right now. If you bring that baby into this one more time I swear it's not going to be pretty. Do not use that child as a pawn in your twisted little game. And don't you ever, ever say that for one instant I would resent it. Give me a little credit Casey. Don't you think I've thought all this through? If I'm meant to play in the NHL it will happen, whether I'm at local or in the states."

"You don't know that. There's no guarantee. Derek…" she was about to go on when a searing pain shot through her abdomen. She grabbed her stomach and doubled over. "Oh, God," was all she managed to get out.

Derek bent down so that he was at eye level with her. "What's wrong? What is it?"

"I…I…my stomach, it hurts," she panted out.

He ran his hand over her forehead, pushing the hair out of her eyes. "You stay right here baby, don't move. I'm going to go get our parents and the car. I'll be right back and we'll get you to the hospital."

He ran down the stairs yelling at Emily as he went out the door. As he ran to his house, he prayed the whole time that everything would be okay.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

Derek ran back into Emily's room to find Casey lying down on the bed. Bending down so he was able to look her in the eyes he asked, "How's my girl?"

"I don't know, Derek. I'm dizzy and everything's kind of blurry. I feel horrible."

He ran the back of his hand across her cheek. "It's going to be okay, Sweetie. I ran back over here while my dad and Nora were throwing their clothes on. I'm going to carry you downstairs and they should be pulling up anytime."

She managed to nod but didn't say anything and Derek gathered her in his arms and headed downstairs.

Emily was standing by the door holding Casey's coat. "Listen, I talked to my parents and I'm going to go stay with your brother and sisters. Let me know the minute you find something out." Derek reassured her that he would before she started across the yard.

"I see them pulling out of the driveway right now; they'll be here any minute, okay?"

Casey had her head laid on Derek's shoulder and he could feel her nod.

"Hey, are you still with me? Talk to me, Case."

"Too tired," she mumbled.

"Come on Case, talk to me, Baby."

"Love you," she said quietly as she buried her face deeper in his neck.

Tears sprang into his eyes. "I know. It's okay. I love you too."

Just then, George ran up the stairs and reached to take Casey from Derek.

"No way, I've got her. You just go open the door."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was a silent tense ride to the hospital. Derek kept talking and Casey tried to stay awake. When they got to the hospital, she was rushed to a cubicle and everyone started to follow.

"Sorry," the nurse said, "only one person can go back there."

Derek started to head back but George grabbed his arm. "Let Nora go, Derek."

"You're kidding, right? There's no way I'm not going back there."

"Derek, I think she'd want her mom with her."

Derek was about to argue again when Nora spoke up, "Let him go George. It's okay." Looking at Derek, she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. Pulling back she told him, "Take good care of our girl."

Derek gave her a smile. "I will, I promise. Thank you so much."

The doctor was already back there examining Casey and as Derek walked in he recognized him as the same one who was there when Casey had fallen.

The doctor gave Derek a soft smile, "You know, I think you're really nice kids but we've got to stop meeting like this."

Derek tried to smile, but it came out forced. "How is she?"

"Well, I've only been with her for a few minutes but I do know that her blood pressure is elevated." Stopping there, he turned and spoke to Casey. "I need you to roll over on your side. That will help your pressure come down."

Turning back to Derek, he asked, "Has she been under a lot of stress?"

"Try her whole pregnancy."

"Yes, but stress could play a big part in this. What I'm really concerned with, is that she'll develop hypertension. She's showing classic signs of it."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, if that happens, she'll be on bed rest and we'll have to monitor the baby to make sure its progressing properly and that it isn't born prematurely. The real worry is that it could turn into pre-eclampsia. If that occurs, we'd have no choice but to take the baby. Otherwise, we could permanently damage some of Casey's vital organs."

"All this from stress?"

"Well, yes, plus Casey falls under the umbrella of a prime target. About ten percent of women develop hypertension during their pregnancy, but first time mothers and women under the age of twenty are more at risk and Casey falls under both those categories."

Derek looked over at Casey. "How are you feeling?" he asked as he ran his hand across her forehead.

"Better, but I have a horrible headache."

"That's another sign of hypertension," the doctor said. "Listen, I'm going to go get the sonogram machine. Casey, you stay just like that and," the doctor stopped and looked at Derek.

"Derek," he said stating his name.

The doctor smiled. "Derek you just stay with her and if anything changes before I get back, go find a nurse, okay?"

"Okay."

The doctor left and Derek repeatedly began to run his hand over Casey's hair in a soothing motion.

"Derek, I…"

"Ssh, just rest. I don't want you getting anymore worked up."

"But…"

"Ssh…"

"One thing?" She asked, her eyes looking up at him.

Derek grabbed a stool and rolled it over beside Casey. Sitting down, he grinned at her. "I guess. I don't think I could stop you if I wanted too. What is it?"

"I love you. Please don't ever doubt that."

A huge smile covered his whole face. Leaning forward he placed a kiss on her lips. With his lips still hovering close to hers he whispered, "I love you too."

There were interrupted by the doctor wheeling the machine through the door. "Casey, I need you to roll onto your back long enough to do the sonogram and then we'll be putting you back on your side for a while."

Casey rolled over and the doctor moved to ready the machine. Derek stood at Casey's head, his hands placed on her shoulders in a reassuring manner.

The doctor began moving the probe around Casey's stomach, silently observing. Every once in a while he would stop and tell the nurse something to write on the chart.

Finally, Derek couldn't take it any longer. "Well, what's happening? Is everything okay?" His patience was wearing thin and he needed answers.

The doctor looked up from the machine and smiled at Derek. "I'd say you're son's doing just fine, Dad."

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

* * *

Derek played the doctor's words over and over again in his head, "I'd say your son's doing just fine, Dad." Derek knew that the doctor believed that the baby was his. Both times they had been at the hospital he nor Casey neither one had bothered to correct the doctor's assumption that he was the father.

The doctor's words only reiterated what Derek felt in his heart. He was positive that he couldn't love that baby more had it been his own. He and Casey had been through so much together in the span of a few months, but it only solidified the feelings that had been building inside him for much longer.

The doctor had let them come home with the understanding that Casey would stay in bed for the next week and then she would have to be cleared by her regular doctor before she could return to school. The doctor had stressed the importance of watching for hypertension and they had promised him that they would stay as stress free as absolutely possible.

Derek came in Casey's room for what seemed like the millionth time that day. He knew he was hovering over her but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't stand the thought that something could go wrong and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure that it didn't happen.

He was absolutely driving her crazy, absolutely smothering her. Finally, she'd had all she could take. "Listen Derek, I'm fine. Really I don't need anything else. You're wearing me out. Just watching you run around like a chicken with its head cut off exhausts me."

She could see the dejected look on his face and she immediately regretted her choice of words. "Well, I could use one thing." She saw his eyes light up at that and she went on, "I could use some company. Instead of running in and out of here all the time, why don't you come lay down by me and then if I need anything, you'll already be here."

He didn't respond but the grin that covered his face was his answer. He headed toward the bed and being extremely careful, he lay down beside her.

She pushed at his shoulder a little, "Hey, I'm not that fragile, I won't break!"

After that they were silent for a few moments, but Casey could tell he had something on his mind. "Hey, what is it? Talk to me."

"Nothing."

"Really? Because it sure looks like something to me."

"It doesn't matter."

"If it's bothering you then it does matter."

"The only things that matter to me are that you and the baby are here and okay. I'm going to make sure you have a stress free pregnancy. Anything else can wait."

"You want to talk about it don't you? But you're afraid I'll get upset again."

"Of course, I want to talk about it. It's eating me alive, but I don't want to risk you getting all worked up again. I'm almost positive I know where it's coming from, but I don't understand why. If I love you and you love me, then what else matters?"

Casey scooted closer to Derek, until their faces almost touched. "I told you earlier, I love you and to never doubt that."

"I know, but…"

"Let me finish." He gave her a sly grin and shook his head as if to say, go on. "And I know you love me too. But right now, we are in such different places in our lives. I need you to go and live your dream. And before you interrupt to tell me what your dream really is, let me finish."

She looked at him pointedly to make sure he wouldn't interrupt. When he didn't say anything, she continued on. "We're young and we have the rest of our lives to be together, but right now, this decides your future. I know it will be hard. And please, don't ever think that I want to be away from you for any amount of time, but it's just four years. Four years is nothing when you compare it to the rest of our lives."

Derek couldn't hold it in any longer. "Casey, I understand where you're coming from, but right now four years seems like an eternity." Looking at her straight in the eyes he added, "And you more than anyone else should know that we're not even promised tomorrow. How many times do I have to tell you, none of this…"

"Matters without me and the baby," she said finishing his thought. "I know, I get that, but still, this is the selling point. We stay together if you go. But, if you stay here we can't be together, I couldn't stand the guilt. I know you'd never put a guilt trip on me, but I would be doing it to myself everyday. Think of it this way, you're just preparing for our future. The life we'll have, the things we can do for the baby if you play in the NHL. You'll be going to college for four years anyway, why not use that time to make sure you achieve that goal."

He knew what she was saying made perfect sense, but it still didn't make him like it. He had to think of something that would settle this problem once and for all. He sat there silently for a moment pondering his options and finally, a thought came into his head and an idea was formed. Trying to sound calm so that she wouldn't be suspicious he asked, "So, you're telling me that if I go to college anywhere but here, you'll stay with me? We can be together? Am I getting this right?"

It killed her to say it but she knew she had too, "That's right. Now do we have a deal?"

"Deal," he said, sealing it with a kiss. Pulling back he looked at her with a huge grin. He had a plan and tomorrow he would put it into action. He knew his coach would have to come through for him big time, but he knew it could work. It just had too. Now he wanted to drop the subject, he didn't want to dwell on it any longer. They had other things to talk about, very important things in fact. "So a boy, what do you think about that?"

She smiled back. "I don't know. It makes it seem so much more real. I mean, I know there's a baby in there, but still knowing it's a boy just pushes the point across even more."

"So what are you going to name this little fellow?"

"I don't know. I haven't even thought about it. I've still got three months. I don't want to rush it. Maybe something will just come to us."

"Us?"

"Us," she said. "Derek, this is a huge responsibility. If we commit to this together, then we've got to do it together. But I need to know that you're with me. I don't think that I could stand it if two or three years down the line you decided that you didn't want to be bothered with this anymore. The main thing I want you to understand is that this baby, it's forever. If you decide someday that I'm not what you want, I'll have to come to terms with it, but if you've played the roll of father in his life, I couldn't stand for you to walk away. You have to realize what you're getting into. You can't romanticize this. This isn't a fantasy. This is real life."

He could feel the emotion radiating from her. Gathering her in his arms he kissed her again, hoping that she could some how feel everything that he was feeling at that exact moment. Resting his forehead on hers, he looked her straight in the eyes. "I've never been more ready for forever in my life. In fact, it can't happen soon enough. I know it won't be easy and I know that there will be people who won't understand. I know there are going to be people that look at me and think, 'where is this coming from, who took over Derek's body'?"

Casey grinned and leaned over to kiss the spot where Derek's ear and neck joined. Then leaning up she whispered in his ear, "Just tell them I did."

"That you have, well at least you've got control over it." And she did. She made him feel things he had never felt before. He knew that nothing had been real before she came along and that whether it was tomorrow or a hundred years from now, she would always have the same effect on him. And God, he loved it when she flirted with him like she was now. He hated to say it, but he did need his ego stroked every once in a while by her. But the absolute best part of it all, was knowing that they were experiencing this together. Because he knew that everything he felt, she was feeling too.

"Oh I have control, do I?" She said as she began running kisses down his neck.

"Total and complete,' he said as he moved into her touch. He could feel her and the baby and he knew he wanted this forever. He refused to accept the idea that they wouldn't be together. He wanted to share so much with her, and he knew he would never let her go.

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

* * *

Derek woke up and felt his arms entangled with Casey's, her warm breathe on his chest as his chin rested on top of her head. He smiled to himself at the wave of emotion it brought. He knew that somehow, if he was lucky enough, he'd be waking up to this every morning for the rest of his life. But for that to happen he knew he had to get going today. He had a lot to get accomplished if his plan was going to work.

Shifting his body so that his face was even with hers, he gently placed a soft kiss on her lips. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and a slow smile crossed her face. "Morning," she said as she snuggled in closer to him.

"Morning to you too," he said rubbing his hand up and down her back. "I wish I could stay home with you today but I've got to go to school."

"I know and I don't want you to miss because of me. I'll be fine. Mom's taking off work and I'll just be lazy. But bring my assignments home with you this afternoon and that will give me something to do tomorrow."

"Will do," he said as he kissed her one more time and then willed himself to pull away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He walked up to his coach's office and took a deep breath. He had put a lot of thought into this and knew that it could work. He just had to make his coach work with him to make it happen.

Knocking on the door, he waited for a response and then walked in, shutting the door behind him.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. MVP. Bet you had a sleepless weekend mulling over all those college prospects, huh?"

"Well actually, I did have a sleepless weekend. I won't go into details, but needless to say, I had a lot to think about."

"Well, have you narrowed it down? Is there one you're leaning toward more than the others?"

"Actually, that's why I came in. I know exactly where I want to go and I need you to call them for me."

"Excellent, I'd be more than happy to do that. Who am I calling?"

"Boston College," he said and waited for the eruption that was sure to happen.

"Boston College? Have you lost your mind? Derek, you had me tell Boston College to quit recruiting you last year. Something about your step sister was going there and the campus not being big enough for both of you."

"I know sir, but things change. I know it might not be possible, but surely they still have some scholarships available and I know they were really high on me. But," he said looking down, "there's one more thing." Looking back up at the coach he half expected him to jump down his throat at any moment.

The coach just shook his head, "What?"

"I need you to see if they have housing for married couples and on-campus daycare."

"Now let me get this straight, you're going to bypass all these schools that are just salivating over you and you want me to call a school that you had me tell last year not to even bother recruiting you this year. And could you please, if I'm not being too personal, tell me why I need to ask about married housing and daycare?"

"Do you want the long or condensed version?"

"Well, if you don't mind, I'd really like the long version, because honestly, this doesn't make any sense at all."

"All right, but I'm just warning you, you asked for it. I don't think you're aware of it, but Casey and I are a couple now. But to be truthful, I've had feelings for her for a lot longer. I didn't want to go to BC because I knew she would be there. I never thought she would ever feel the same way about me so I thought the best way to try and get over these feelings was to get as far away from her as possible," he stopped and looked at his coach. "Are you following so far?"

"Yeah, but I have to tell you son, I feel like I'm sitting through an episode of One Tree Hill."

"Yah, well imagine trying to actually live it."

"No thanks, I think I'll pass. Go on, I'm listening."

"I know you're aware of what happened with Max. Well, I became Casey's support system and somehow I was lucky enough to have her start returning my feelings."

"And the baby, is it yours?"

"No, not biologically, but sir, for all intents and purposes he is. I plan on raising him as my son and I'll be the best dad I can possible be to him."

"All right, I'm following you so far, but why am I calling BC now?"

"Because Casey feels like her only option is to stay here and go to the local university. I told her I was willing to do the same, and well, let's just say that didn't go over so well. She told me in no uncertain terms that I would be going off to university, that if I stayed here, I would be jeopardizing my chances at the NHL."

"Actually Derek, she might be right. You're a high profile player, but still you need to be in a high profile program. Every bit of exposures counts."

"I understand that sir. Casey's already been accepted to BC. They even told her there would be scholarship money available should she choose to attend. If I can get into BC then we can be together. She has no idea that I want to do this. I didn't want to get her hopes up and besides, I'm afraid she'd try and talk me out of it. She still has some silly notion in her head that she and the baby will be standing in my way."

"But Derek, are you sure they won't be? This is a huge responsibility you're taking on here and in all honesty, its one that you don't even have too. Are you sure you've thought this through."

"Coach, it's all I think about. If I'm not with Casey and the baby then I know I won't be doing my best. My heart and my mind will never fully be focused on hockey. It's not that I want to be with them, I need to be with them. Will you help me?"

The older man stared at Derek for a moment. He could see the desire in his eyes. Anyone who felt this passionately about something deserved a chance and he would make sure he did everything in his power to see that it would happen. "I'll try Derek, but I can't promise you anything."

Derek grinned back at the man. "That's all I'm asking. You can't imagine how much I appreciate this. Please, let me know something as soon as you find it out."

"I will and Derek, I want you to know that I respect you for this decision. It takes a real man to stand up and try and do what's right for himself and those he loves." Clearing his throat, he realized how emotional he was getting, "Now get to class. Lord knows you need it boy."

* * *

**Can guess who the coach is patterned after. Surely all you young kids can figure it out. **


	17. Chapter 17

**All I'm going to say is : ) **

* * *

Derek couldn't believe it. For one time, in what seemed like forever, everything seemed to be going his way. His coach had contacted him the next day and told him that Boston College was ecstatic to hear that he wanted to play for them. They said that everything he needed was available and they would be express mailing the papers for him to sign.

He had told his dad and Nora the news that night and they been so excited. Nora, of course had cried, telling Derek that it was absolutely the sweetest thing she had ever seen someone do, and then she cried because they would be leaving them but she said she understood.

He had also got on the internet that night and ordered the final piece of the puzzle. It would arrive in two days and then hopefully it would all work out like he planned. All he had to do was get Casey to agree.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Finally, Friday came and after school Derek was met by a very energetic Casey at the door when he arrived home.

Throwing her arms around him she smiled and said, "I'm free. The doctor said I could leave the house and go back to school. No more bed rest as long as I take care of myself and monitor my blood pressure."

Derek quickly kissed her and grinned back. "That's great, so what are we going to do to celebrate?"

"I don't know but we're going to do something. Let's walk down to the park and we can decide what we're going to do tonight."

Grabbing her coat she started dragging Derek down the steps. "Hey, I thought you told me just last week that you weren't in any condition to sprint. I'm kind of thinking you were wrong about that."

She giggled and slapped his chest. "I can't help it; I'm too excited!" Then stopping she turned to him and smiled, her voice trembling. "Derek there was a time not too long ago that I thought my life was over and now I can't wait for it to go on and it's all because of you."

He knew now was a perfect opportunity to tell her everything and it took every bit of his will power to not do just that. But he knew he had his plan and he needed to stick to it. So instead, he gathered her in his arms and kissed her. Finally, pulling away he told her, "Listen, let's go to the park, otherwise if this goes on much longer we might be getting arrested for indecency."

She rolled her eyes and laughed, then she grabbed his arm and they were off again.

They strolled through the park holding hands and talking. They found a vendor and Derek smiled. Pointing toward the stand which had a variety of different colors of cotton candy he asked Casey, "What does that remind you of?"

"Uh, I don't know, cavities?"

"No, Case. Try again and think really hard. It has something to do with us."

She looked deep in thought for a moment and then exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, how in the world could I forget? I still don't think my brain has regenerated the cells I lost from that night."

"You know," he said turning toward her and grabbing both her hands. "I'll always think of that as our first date."

"Why?"

"Well," he smirked, "for one thing I paid for _everything_, including more junk food than anyone should be allowed to consume. And that means a lot coming from me."

She rolled her eyes and raised her eyebrows.

"_And_' he emphasized, "That was the night that you told me I could be the one to help you. You also asked me if I knew what I was getting myself into. At the time I asked myself the same question, but now I know the answer."

Looking up at him she asked, "And what would that be?"

"I was getting myself into the best thing that will ever happen in my life. No matter what gets thrown my way or how things go, as long as I have you and the baby, none of it matters."

Throwing her arms around his neck, she told him, "All right, I'm going to say something I said that night too. I have no idea where this Derek came from, but," she said leaning up to press her lips gently to his. "I want to keep him, always and forever."

Derek felt a shiver run completely through him. God how he loved this girl, simple words would never be enough to convey the emotions he felt. Wrapping her in his arms he held her close and whispered in her ear, "always and forever."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the end they had decided to simply go out for pizza and then call it an early night. Derek didn't want her to over do it and she agreed that it might be smart to still take it easy for a while.

Coming back in, Casey headed up the stairs with Derek following. When they entered her room there was a gift bag sitting on top of her bed. Looking at Derek, she walked over and picked it up. "What's this?" she asked.

"I don't know, maybe a little something for the baby and even you if you're lucky," he said grinning.

"Did you do this?"

"I don't know, open it and maybe you'll figure it out." He was willing himself to stay calm but inside his stomach was churning. He had no idea how she would take this, he could only hope for the best.

Casey sat down on her bed and scooted up until her back rested against the head board. Derek timidly walked over and sat in front of her, hoping she couldn't see how nervous he was.

Looking questioningly at Derek one more time, she pulled the paper out of the bag and stuck her hand in. When she pulled it out of the bag she was holding a large brown teddy bear which itself was holding an envelope. She looked at Derek expecting an answer. When he didn't say anything, she removed the envelope from the bear's paws and saw that it was wearing a Boston College hoody. "What's this all about?"

He could see the confusion on her face but he resisted the urge to blurt things out. He had thought this out in his head all week long and he wanted it to go just like he planned. A small grin appeared on his face and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, why don't you see what's in the envelope?"

Looking away from him she preceded to open it. She sat there and re-read the letter three times. With a look of complete and utter disbelief she looked up at him. "Are you serious?"

He nodded his head. "You told me I could go anywhere I wanted as long as it wasn't here."

"But, you told me last year you wouldn't go to Boston College if it was the last place on earth."

"I know, because you were going to be there."

Tears welled up in her eyes. "Is this a sick joke? You want to go there now, because I can't?"

"No," he said trying to sound as reassuring as he could. "Listen, you're getting ahead of yourself. There's still one more gift."

She looked inside the bag and saw nothing, "Where?"

"I don't know, but it looks like that bear's hoody has a front pocket."

Casey's heart leapt in her chest. Surely it couldn't be. She told herself that she wouldn't get her hopes up. Slowly sliding her fingers in the little pocket she felt something cool and round. Pulling it out she saw a ring, but it wasn't just any ring. It was her grandmother's ring. She was forever getting in trouble as a little girl because her mother would catch her in her jewelry box trying it on. Looking back at Derek she said, "I don't understand."

Derek scooted even closer to her. He took the ring from her and grabbed both her hands. "Your right, I did tell you last year that I wouldn't go to BC if it was the last place on earth because you were going there. And that was because I needed to be away from you. You were with Max and wouldn't give me the time of day. I already knew I had feelings for you and I thought the only solution was to get as far away from you as possible, because living with you sure wasn't doing the trick."

He stopped there and looked to see what Casey's reaction was, but all he saw was beautiful blue eyes wide with anticipation staring back at him. "Casey, I had coach call Boston College on Monday to see if they would still be interested in giving me a scholarship. But I told him they had to have two things in order for me to go. One was family housing and the other was on-campus daycare. I'm not going without you. I can't go without you."

He stopped, thinking that she would say something. Finally she shook her head as if to clear her thoughts, "Family housing?"

Derek grinned and held the ring up. "Casey, I told Coach that I would never be able to be focused on hockey if you and the baby weren't with me. I plan on being with you forever and I can't think of one good reason why forever shouldn't start right now. Can you?"

He looked at her expectantly, as tears brimmed in her eyes. Slowly shaking her head no she said, "I think today's a great day for forever to start."

Suddenly all was calm inside him. Slipping the ring on her finger, he then placed her face in his hands, "I love you so much. And I promise I'll be the best husband and dad I can be. I know I won't be perfect but I'll always try."

Smiling back at him she said, "I know you will, and that's enough for me. Derek, this is more than I ever imagined. You haven't just given me my life back; you've given me my dreams back too."

Gathering her in his arms, he held her close and kissed the top of her head. How in the world could he every express the way he felt to her. It was beyond his wildest dreams that this could be happening to him. He had the perfect girl and the perfect life. Somehow it had all worked out and they would be together. They would raise their son and achieve their dreams together. Many times through this long journey he had asked himself if it could get any better and each time it had been topped, so again, he had to ask himself; could it ever be better than this moment?

* * *

**Yes, the coach was patterned after Whitey from OTH. All right, my fellow OTH fans, I threw in another OTH reference. Let me know what it is! **


	18. Chapter 18

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Derek and Casey stood in the store arguing.

"Derek, it's the most impractical thing I've ever heard of buying for a baby."

"Come on Case, he needs this. It's not like we're going to be moving to Florida. It's Boston and it gets cold in Boston and he'll have to have a coat."

"He needs a coat Derek, not a ninety dollar leather jacket."

"Listen, all we've done is buy practical things. And I know that he needs those, but come on, all I'm asking for is one jacket. He's going to have the coolest parents in the world; don't you think he needs to look like the coolest baby in the world too? Come on Case, can't you just see me and him walking around campus looking all badass?"

"All right, first off, how in the world is trying to say our tiny, innocent, little baby is going to look badass suppose to make me feel better about this purchase?"

He looked at her with a sly grin. "Okay, maybe that wasn't the best point to make, but still, come on, one crazy, frivolous purchase?"

She smiled up at him and rolled her eyes. "All right, but that's it."

"Yes," he said as he pulled her in close. "Seriously, this kid is so lucky. He's going to be born will cool running through his veins."

Casey pulled back, "Hey, why don't you go get me a strawberry smoothie while I check out. I'll meet you right outside the store."

As Derek left the store Casey was left to her thoughts. She loved how excited Derek was about being this baby's father and sometimes she wondered if he even remembered that biologically the baby wasn't his.

They had discussed at length a name for the baby, but were no where close to a decision on a first name. After much discussion and soul searching they had agreed to give the baby Derek's last name, with Maxwell being his middle name. It was something that she had struggled with but in the end it just seemed the right thing to do.

The baby would be born in June and at the beginning of August she and Derek would be getting married. Just in time to move to Boston and to get settled before school began. She had finally came to the conclusion that the child should have the same last name as they would both share, but she had made it very clear to Derek that when the boy became older, they would have to sit him down and explain the situation to him and tell him about Max.

Derek had understood, but it didn't mean that he had really wanted to do it. This baby was his as far as he was concerned and he didn't want to share.

Casey was finally able to pay for her purchase and went outside to wait for Derek. She was absent mindedly looking in the window when she heard her name.

Turning, she was shocked to find Max's aunt and uncle standing there. "Hello," she said awkwardly, averting her eyes to the ground.

"Casey, how are you dear?" his Aunt Sandy said.

"Fine," she said with a shy smile.

"My, you're getting big, how much longer?" Max's Uncle Alex asked.

"One more month, give or take a few days."

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"A boy," she managed to get out.

Just then Derek walked up and placed one hand on her back as he handed her the smoothie. Derek could see that Casey was a nervous wreck and his defense mode went up in full force.

"If you'll excuse us Casey needs to get home and rest. I'm sure you won't mind since you haven't bothered to check on her since she came to talk to you."

"Actually, we've been thinking about Casey a lot lately. So much happened in such a short time that I think we were just shell shocked when you came to tell us. This baby is our only link to Max and we'd love to be a part of his life. Since we never had children of our own this is as close to a grandchild as we'll ever have. Since I don't work," his aunt went on, "I'd like to volunteer to watch the baby some while you're in class next fall."

Casey closed her eyes. She knew what was about to happen and somehow she had to stop it.

"Listen Derek's right, I am really tired. Maybe we can talk about this later but right now we should be getting home." She nervously took a drink of her smoothie and quickly realized that Max's aunt was staring at the ring on her finger.

"Casey, such a lovely ring, but it looks like an engagement ring. Are you wearing it to avoid questions about being an unwed mother?"

"Well, uh, not exactly."

"What do you mean not exactly?"

Casey took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for what was to come. "Actually," she said nervously, "I am engaged."

"What do you mean 'you're engaged' and to whom?"

"To me, that's whom," Derek interrupted.

The look of shock was evident on their faces. Finally Alex spoke, "Casey, please tell us this is some kind of sick joke."

Casey stood there like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to speak. But Derek, well Derek had no problem finding his voice at all.

"A sick joke, do you want me to tell you what a sick joke is? A sick joke is a broken hearted eighteen year old girl coming to you for compassion and support and you sending her away saying you couldn't handle it. My God, you've know for months about this baby and you try to say you've been thinking about them this whole time. So let me get this straight, you've thought about them this whole time but only bothered to tell her because you happen to run into her at the mall."

Derek was fuming and Casey was panicking. She just wanted to leave and get as far away from the situation as possible.

"Derek, please, can we just go? I just want to go home," she pleaded.

Derek took a deep breath as if to come down from his emotional high. Casey grabbed his arm but before he could walk away, Alex went on. "Casey, Max hated Derek and Derek hated Max. How in the world could you allow him to raise Max's son? That doesn't even begin to factor in the scandal of the two of you being related."

Derek wanted to be calm for Casey. To just walk away like she asked him too, but nobody questioned the love that he felt for Casey or Casey's love for him in return.

"You know what, I really want to be the bigger man in this situation, but I need to set a few things straight. Who was there to help her pick up the pieces when you turned your backs on her? Who loved her and cared for her and brought her back from a point of near breakdown? And who loves her and this baby more than life itself? I would give anything; sacrifice anything, to make sure that Casey and our baby are taken care of. So don't let me ever hear another word from you about our relationship."

"Excuse me," Sandy said, "but did I hear you say, your baby? Because that baby is not, nor will it ever be yours. That is Max's baby and no amount of playing house will make it otherwise."

"Well guess what, the two of us," he said gesturing between himself and Casey, "will be playing house, as you like to put it, with _our_ son, in Boston, far away from the two of you."

Finally, Casey could handle no more. "Stop it, just stop it," she sobbed. "Quit fighting. I can't take it anymore."

Alex and Sandy stood there as if they wanted to say something else, but Casey didn't give them a chance. Casey rushed off and Derek started to say something else, but thinking better of it he just shook his head in disgust and left, trying to catch up with her.

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	19. Chapter 19

* * *

Casey was very quiet on the way home and Derek didn't press the issue. He knew that she would talk to him when she was ready and the last thing he wanted to do was say anything else that would bring stress on her or the baby.

When they pulled up, Derek got out but Casey just sat there as if in a trance. Derek went around and opened her door. Kneeling down he placed his hand on her knee and gently asked, "Are you coming, Case?"

She looked startled for a moment and then silently nodded her head. Derek grabbed her arm and helped her out of the car. He half expected her to pull away from him after she was out, but to his surprise she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. She didn't cry but silently stood there holding on for dear life.

He didn't say a word either. He just stood there silently rubbing his hands up and down her back in a soothing manner.

Finally she looked up at him and said, "Do you know how much I love you?"

Derek was totally taken aback by her question. He wondered were this was coming from and could only pray that the outcome would be good. "I'd like to think I do. I hope you love me as much as I love you. That way there will never be any question."

Casey's arms loosened their grip around Derek's neck and her hands pulled his face down to hers. "Derek, I love you more than anything is in this world. I want you to know that. There's something I have to go do and I don't want you to worry about me. I promise I'll be back soon."

Derek was shocked. She really wasn't making any sense and that worried him. "Casey, it will be getting dark in a couple of hours. You don't need to be out by yourself. I'll come with you."

She smiled a soft, sad smile at him and shook her head no. "Derek, this is something I have to go do on my own. I promise it's going to be okay, but more than that, I promise you that we'll be okay. Trust me, all right?"

Everything in him wanted to tell her no, it's not all right. He wanted to tell her that she's eight months pregnant and to go anywhere by herself was crazy. But he didn't, he bit his tongue and held in those words. If she said it was going to be okay, that they were okay, then he had to let her go. Had to trust her and pray that it turned out like she wanted.

"Can't I at least know where you're going?" He asked.

Once again she shook her head no. "I'll tell you about it when I get home. I have my cell phone and I'll call you if I need anything. But please, don't call me. Like I said, we'll talk about it when I get home." She reached up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips and then pulling away she went around to the driver's side of the car and got in.

As she pulled away, Derek silently prayed that whatever she was going to do that she would be safe and that she would find some sort of peace in it.

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Casey pulled up and turned off the engine. Taking a deep breath she left the car and began walking the path that she had walked six months earlier.

When she reached her destination she got down on her knees and ran her fingers over the cold granite, letting them linger over his name. His aunt and uncle had finally had the headstone placed and she felt that it suited him well. As well as a headstone could fit an eighteen year old boy anyway.

She sat there composing her thoughts for a moment before she began to speak.

"Max, it's me. I came here months ago wanting to talk to you and I just couldn't do it at the time. I know you're not really here, but for some reason I feel like this is where I need to talk to you."

"I know you already know this, but I just wanted to say it out loud. We're having a little boy Max and I want to assure you that I know he's your son. I'll never deny him the knowledge of you or the wonderful, kind gentle person you were."

She stopped and wiped the tear that was slowly running down her cheek. "Max, I hope you're not upset with me about Derek. I hope you know that I wouldn't have ever made it those first few months without him. Hopefully you love me enough to realize that I've found something with Derek that will last. That will be a stable environment for our son to grow up in and be nurtured."

"Derek loves me and the baby. He would do anything to make sure that we're okay. But I'll be honest, sometimes I don't think he remembers that he's not really his, but isn't that a good thing? He considers him his son. And that means that he'll always be there for him, always love and protect him. But I want you to know Max, I remember."

She knew she was rambling, not making any sense, but she had to get this out. "Max, when you died, I thought my life was over. I know that probably sounds crazy to you but its true. There were days when I just wanted to dig a hole and crawl in it. I wanted to just end the pain and to go be with you. I don't think a person can get any lower than I was at that point."

"But Derek, well Derek was there to help pick up the pieces. He told me how much he had cared for me all those years. Max he didn't hate you, I promise. He just didn't like the fact that we were together. I hope you'll never think that I would be with him if I didn't think he had me and the baby in his best interests."

"And Max, I've grown to depend on him, but more than that I've grown to love him. I love him so much. I love him for the way he cares about me, for the way he comforts me. I love him for taking me in when I was at my worst and helping me see that there's a light at the end of tunnel. I love him for so many reasons, but really I guess I love him because he's simply Derek."

"I guess I really just came here to let you know that I'll never forget you and I will keep your memory alive in our son." A thought came across her mind and she smiled. "I promise he'll have a football to counter act the hockey stick that I know will be thrust in his hand upon birth. I'll keep your memory alive to him, but at the same time I'll always be grateful that he has Derek to teach him all the things a boy needs to learn from his dad. Max, Derek loves this little boy so much."

She stopped there. Moving her fingers up to her lips and then gently placing them on the part of the headstone that read his name she added, "I love you Max and you'll always have a special place in my heart. I just felt I needed to come tell you that everything's going to be okay and you can rest easy. I pray you find peace, my love."

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The sun had set by the time Casey got home but Derek had held true to her wish and hadn't called her. She half expected him to be pacing a hole in the rug when she entered the door much like he had the first time she had gone to the cemetery, so she was surprised to find no one downstairs.

Walking up the stairs, she stopped at Derek's door and pushed it opened slightly. There lay Derek, hands behind his head. When he saw her he started to get up but she held up her hand to stop him.

Walking over she gently pushed him back and lay as close to him as her stomach allowed. They lay that way for a few moments before she finally spoke. "I went to see Max today."

Derek's insides tensed. He closed his eyes and managed to get out, "Oh, really?"

"Yes. I talked to him about the baby and about us. It was something I needed to do and I have a real peace about it."

Derek's tenseness eased up a bit and he held her tightly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Mustering up as much courage as he could, and not being totally certain that he really wanted to know the answer, he timidly asked, "And us, are we okay?"

She looked up at him with a smile and a reassuring nod. "We," she said gathering his face in her hands, "are more than okay; we are perfect."

* * *

**For those of you who have read "In Sickness and In Health", I had to throw the perfect in there at the end. I just love that word if you can't tell**!


	20. Chapter 20

**And baby makes three!**

* * *

Casey and Derek sat on the back patio slowly rocking back and forth on the swinging bench. It had been a huge day. They had graduated that morning and then had spent the rest of the day celebrating with a luncheon and party thrown by their parents.

Casey was snuggled up close to Derek with her head on his shoulder. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep her eyes open. She really hadn't felt that well all day and was ready to just crawl in bed. Derek could sense this and asked, "Are you ready to call it a night?"

She nodded her head yes and he got up and pulled her out of the swing. They stopped at the back door before they walked in.

Casey grabbed both Derek's hands and smiled up at him. "You know, everything's starting to culminate, graduation, the baby, the wedding, university. Are you sure you're ready for it all? Our life is about to forever change and there's no going back."

Derek nodded his head yes. Derek loved listening to her talk, the way she was so serious and intense, and so beautiful. But he had to admit that sometimes the later part made it quite hard to concentrate on what she was saying. He leaned down to kissed her, but as he did, he suddenly felt her tense against him and clutch his hands tightly, and as she bent over he tried to hold her.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" he said, suddenly terrified. He sat her down gently on the back step as she held her stomach down low and tried to catch her breath during the sharp pain of the contraction. He ran inside to get Nora, and when she came out, Casey was sitting there wide-eyed, looking frightened. She was in labor and it had started much harder than she had expected.

"It's all right, it's all right." Nora said trying to calm them both down and told Derek to go get his dad.

Casey gasped again. She was having another pain. They were long and hard and she couldn't understand it. It wasn't supposed to start like this, she told her mom, as she helped her inside the house. "I had a stomachache this morning, but I just figured it was nerves from giving my valedictory speech," she said, unable to believe what was happening.

"Have you had any cramps," Nora asked gently, "or a backache?" Sometimes it was easy to misinterpret the early signs of labor.

"Mom I've had a backache for the last two weeks. I had some cramps this afternoon but I just assumed it was from all the food I ate today."

"You've probably been in labor since early this morning," Nora said gently, which meant they didn't want to waste any time getting to the hospital.

"But he's not due for another six days," Derek said, panic evident.

Nora placed her had on Derek's shoulder as if to calm him, "Derek, babies don't have day planners to keep on schedule. They come when they're ready, and I'd say he's making a pretty good case for that right now."

As soon as they got her inside, Nora started timing her pains, and George went to call the doctor. Derek sat next to her, holding her hand, and looking miserable for her. He hated to see her in so much pain, but neither of his parents seemed worried. The pains were five minutes apart, and they were long and hard, and George came to tell them that the doctor said to come right away. He would meet them at the hospital.

"Do we have to go now?" Casey asked, looking very young and very scared. "Can't we stay here a little longer?" She was almost in tears and Nora assured her that she couldn't put this off any longer. It was time to go now.

Derek grabbed the bag that Casey had already packed, and fifteen minutes later they were at the hospital. As soon as they got there Casey was put in a wheelchair and they started to roll her away. She grabbed for Derek frantically.

"Don't leave me," she begged him, clutching his hands and crying.

"Don't worry baby, I won't leave you I promise. I'll be there the whole time. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

They rolled her into the labor room as Casey clung to Derek's hand. She looked up at him with eyes that trusted him completely. "Promise me this is what you want Derek…you won't ever change your mind right? You'll love him won't you? You'll always love him?"

"I promise," he said, overwhelmed by her and the love they shared. "I'll always love him…I love you, Casey…thank you so much for allowing me to share this with you."

And then once again pains engulfed Casey. The next few hours were hard work for her. She had missed the transitioning period and the doctor was sad to tell her that it was too late for an epidural. They gave her a shot to try and take the edge off, but she was still in excruciating pain, but Derek clung to her hand throughout the whole ordeal.

It was after midnight, when finally a small wail rang out through the room. The nurse asked Derek if he'd like to cut the cord. With shaking hands he did and then the nurse held him up for Casey to see. She smiled when she saw the small pink face, and then she looked up at Derek with eyes filled with relief and joy.

"We have a son," she said to Derek.

"And I'd say a very fine one at that," the doctor added as he smiled at Casey.

Then the nurse handed the baby to Derek. Casey was much too tired and shaky to hold him, and as Derek looked down into the tiny face, he saw dark hair and blue eyes so full of innocence and love that he trembled as he held him.

"Hello," he whispered as he held the child that was to be his. He knew this was a moment he would never forget. It had meant so much to see him born, to see him suddenly emerge and cry out, as though he was calling to them.

The doctor was busy finishing up with Casey and they let him take the baby into the nursery, where they weighed him and cleaned him up. Derek stayed to watch everything as he held his tiny hand in his. A few minutes later, he saw his parents arrive at the nursery window, and both stood there with tears in their eyes.

The nurse let him hold the baby again and he held him up to show his parents. "Isn't he beautiful," he mouthed. His parents could see the excitement on his face and knew that everything was going to work out as planned.

The doctor came into the nursery and stood by Derek. "I'd shake your hand, but most first time dads aren't comfortable with letting go of the baby like that."

Derek just grinned and nodded in agreement.

"Casey's doing great. They have her settled in her room and as soon as the nurse gives you the clear, you can take your son down there."

Derek's smile became even brighter. "Thanks doc. I don't have to tell you that we're new to all this and I just want to thank you for all your help."

About twenty minutes later Derek was allowed to take the baby down to Casey. When he walked in he saw her eyes flutter open and a huge smile cross her face.

"I thought you'd kidnapped him. I wondered if I was ever going to see the two of you again," she teased.

"No worries, I definitely think this is a two person deal."

Derek slowly walked over and placed the baby in Casey's arms. "He looks just like you, especially the eyes. His eyes are a dead ringer for yours."

"And is that a bad thing?"

"Oh no, I'd say that's a very good thing. He's going to be a heartbreaker, that's for sure!"

Casey ran her fingers lightly across the top of the baby's head, smoothing down his hair.

"Can you believe he's really here? We've talked about this and anticipated this for months, but it really never seemed real until now."

"Casey, I've had more daydreams about you than you can imagine. But nothing prepared me, nothing compares to this moment. Every morning I wake up and I can't wait for it to start because I know it just keeps getting better everyday. And that's because of you and him," he added placing his finger inside the baby's tiny hand. "We have an amazing life Case, and it's only going to get better."

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Early the next morning George and Nora arrived back at the hospital with all the siblings in tow.

"Ooh, I want to hold," Marti said jumping up and down.

"Not so fast Smarti, he isn't a toy. He breaks you know," Derek said, the overprotective dad coming out in him.

"So are we just going to call him he for the rest of his life. You know we've never been told his official name," Lizzie added.

Casey looked over at Derek and nodded, telling him to go ahead. Derek held the baby tightly to his chest and looked down at him for a moment, the newness and wonder still evident on his face. "Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to Gage Maxwell Venturi."

* * *


	21. Chapter 21

* * *

Casey lay in bed trying to get the last bit of rest before the most hectic, crazy, wonderful, fabulous day of her life began. Today was the day that she would finally marry Derek. It seemed strange in one sense because she already felt like they were married, but still, to know that it would be official and that she would be taking the last name of the two most important guys in her life was overwhelming. The thought that they were officially going to be a family and were about to embark on the beginning of their lives together made the anticipation almost more than she could bare.

The past few months had flown by for them. It had been quite an adjustment, to say the least, raising a baby. Gage was absolutely wonderful and the sweetest baby they thought there ever was, but still, babies are demanding and they were worn out. Casey didn't know what she would have done without Derek. Who knew that a person who could literally sleep their life away could have enough energy to walk a crying baby every night? Thank goodness it was summer and they could nap when the baby did.

On top of everything else they'd had to plan a wedding. Of course Nora had wanted a huge elaborate ceremony but Derek and Casey had put that idea to rest rather quickly. They weren't interesting in putting on a show or parading around for the amusement of others. All they wanted was a small ceremony at home with their family and close friends. Nora had been disappointed but she had said she understood.

She lay there with her eyes closed until she heard the small whimpers coming from the crib. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes and blinked at the bright light that was streaming through her window. Walking across the room she found a wide-eyed Gage staring up at her.

"Hello, baby boy. Are you ready for our big day? Today you and Mommy and Daddy get to be an official family. I know, I know, we already are, but now everyone else will think so too."

The baby looked up at her as if very intent on what she was saying.

"Are you hungry? Do we need to go get Mommy's big boy a bottle?" she asked as she walked toward to the door.

Just as she was opening the door, she heard Derek's door opening.

"Case?"

"Stop, right there!"

"What?"

"I said stop right there. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride on their wedding day. Don't come out that door."

"You're kidding right? Come on, you don't really believe that silly stuff do you? I heard Gage and I was coming to check on him."

"He's fine. I'm just going downstairs to get his bottle. Now I'm serious, you need to go back in your room and shut the door. And no peeking!"

"I can't believe you're serious."

"I'm as serious as a heart attack mister, now back in there and shut the door!"

"Fine, but that doesn't mean I can't see Gage. I expect someone to bring me that baby as soon as he's through eating."

"Fine, I'll need to be getting ready anyway. I mean how long could it take you to throw a suit on and make your hair look like you just got out of bed."

"Hey, don't start with the bed head. You'll be looking at it for the rest of your life."

"And I'm thrilled about it, but I don't want to see it right now, so shut the door."

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Derek had spent most of the day with Gage which had suited him just fine. It was four o'clock now and the wedding was at five. The women had spent most of the day running around crazy like, well, crazy women and he had been content to stay in his room taking care of the baby.

There were days when Derek still couldn't believe he was there. It still amazed him how there could ever be something so absolutely perfect. He was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on his door. "Come in."

George stuck his head inside the door. "Can I come in? There is absolutely nothing safe about being out there right now. You've made a very wise decision keeping Gage shielded from all that…"

"Craziness?"

"Exactly."

"Yeah, come on in. I was just sitting here admiring my son."

"Not too hard of a thing to do is it? I remember when you were first born; I would just sit and stare at you. It was all so new and I was afraid that I was going to do something that would bring about undoable damage"

"Yeah, I know what you were thinking. I guess from now on I'll never make another decision without thinking if it's best for him."

George came over and pulled a chair up beside Derek. "Derek, I really came in here to tell you how proud I am of you. To see the man you've become these past four years. To watch you learn to care about someone more than yourself, to sacrifice your wants for the wants of others."

"Come on Dad, stop with all the sappy emotional stuff."

"I can't help it. I'm proud of you son. You could have done anything you wanted with your life. You had a wide open future, but you chose the path that wasn't the easiest."

"Yeah, well a lot of that had to do with Casey. There wasn't another path I could even think about taking. Never in a million years did I ever think she'd feel the same way about me. Two years, Dad, two years I tried to hide my feelings. Once I knew she felt the same way, there was no other path to take."

George looked at Derek and grinned. "When did you get so prolific?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it comes for being a dad."

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Derek stood in the living room waiting for Casey to come down the stairs. One thought kept running through his head, how in the world did he ever get lucky enough to reach this moment in time?

He looked up in time to see Casey start descending the stairs. He held his breath for a moment at the sight that was before him. There were no other words for him to describe her other than breath taking.

Slowly she made her way towards him never taking her eyes off him. This was it, the moment they had waited for, the one they had felt like at times would never get here.

Casey took her place beside Derek and the minister began, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here before the sight of God to witness the union of these two people, Derek and Casey. They have chosen to say their own vows, so at this time, Casey would you begin."

Casey handed her bouquet to Lizzie and turning took both of Derek's hands in hers. She could feel them shaking just as her own hands were. Pausing for a moment to gather her thoughts and looking Derek straight in the eyes she began, "Derek our relationship would seem unconventional to most, but as I look at it, it seems like the most normal thing in the world."

"We've already been through so much together, more than some people will ever go through in a lifetime. But that only goes to prove that our relationship can withstand pressures from the outside and within. Derek, I promise to keep the good memories alive and let the bad ones fade away. I promise to treat each new day as a gift from God, one that He's allowed me to have so that I might spend it with you. When you need someone to encourage you, I want it to be me. And when you need a helping hand, I want it to be mine."

"I want to spend the rest of my life hearing your thoughts and seeing your dreams. Life is full of moments, ones that define you and make you who you are. You have been there for the majority of my life changing moments, and from here on out I want you to be the one that experiences every one of them with me."

A tear slowly ran down her cheek and Derek moved his hand to gently wipe it away. "Derek, you've made sure that all my dreams have come true and I promise that I will spend the rest of my life making sure that our dreams are fulfilled. I promise to give you my all, knowing that I will receive the same from you."

Then taking the ring from Lizzie, she placed it on his finger. "With this ring, I thee wed. This is my solemn vow to you."

Derek looked down for a moment trying to compose himself. He knew that this would be an emotional time but never did he ever imagine it would be like this. Finally trusting himself to speak, he began.

"Casey, I'll never forget the first time I saw you. I could see that fire in your beautiful blue eyes and the passion that burned in you. At the time, I looked at that as a bad thing. As something that would get in the way of my needs and what I wanted. But as we grew, I came to understand what motivated you, what drove you. I learned that your fire and passion actually compliment me and complete me. I love your convictions and the things you stand for. I love the way you take care of everyone, putting their needs above your own. But I promise that I will take care of you, that I will always put your needs above my own."

"Casey, I take you to be my wife, my partner, my friend, my confidant, my soulmate. I know that together we can accomplish anything and that together we will be better than we could ever be alone. Though life may not always be as perfect as it is in this moment, I promise to always keep my love as pure and perfect as it is today."

"Though four years ago, I would have never believed it, I know now that this is the moment that I have waited for my whole life. Casey there was only one word that came to my mind when I saw you walk down the stairs and that word was breath taking. Casey, you take my breath away and today, I promise that I will spend the rest of my life making moments with you that will take your breath away."

Taking the ring from Edwin he slipped it on Casey's finger. "With this ring, I thee wed. This is my solemn vow to you."

Still holding each others hands they turned towards the minister.

"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I now pronounce you husband and wife. Derek, you may kiss your bride."

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	22. Chapter 22

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With great sadness, here it is, the epilogue.

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Casey woke up with her head resting on Derek's chest and the feeling of strong arms wrapped around her. It was the same way she had woken up for the past twenty-one years. Their life had been blessed beyond measure. Those first few years had been tough. University, a new marriage and a new baby had challenged them, but at the same time had strengthened them more than they had ever believed possible.

Derek could have gone to the NHL after his junior year, but stayed knowing that he didn't want to leave Casey and Gage. He wanted Casey to finish her degree and he wanted to finish his too. He knew that any athlete was just one injury away from never playing again and he had a family to support. He couldn't risk it, but in the end it had paid off. He had led Boston College to a National Championship that year and had received the Hobey Baker Award, as the top men's collegiate hockey player in the United States.

Casey lightly ran her fingers across Derek's cheek and slowly he began to wake up.

He rolled over so that he was facing her with his arms still firmly wrapped around her. Groggily he said, "Morning."

Casey crinkled her nose and replied, "Ooh, morning breath."

"You love my morning breath."

"No, I tolerate your morning breath, there's a big difference."

"You know there's no other morning breath you want but mine."

"This is true," she said smiling had him.

"It's a really big day."

"I know, but we've had lots of really big days. My Gosh Derek, we've been through two Stanley Cup finals. If anyone should know how to handle big days, it's us."

He pulled her closer and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Hey, don't forget my MVP."

"I wouldn't think of it, even if you'd let me."

"I know, but when it's your son it's different. I was never a person for nerves. Nerves were for people who were wimps or who couldn't handle the pressure. But when it's your kid, every time he steps on that field my stomach does flip flops. I just want him to achieve all his goals and for him, this is the ultimate one."

"I know, but it's already done and worrying about it won't change anything."

Derek started to laugh and Casey looked had him strangely and asked, "What's so funny?"

"I was just laying here wondering when in the world we switched places, Miss Want to Control Everything?"

"I've lived with a slacker for twenty-one years and you've lived with a keener. We were bound to rub off on each other eventually. Now are we going to lie here all day?"

"As tempting as that sounds, the answer is no, because I am absolutely starving. Do you think the girls are up yet?"

"Are you kidding? They are over there sound asleep, oblivious to the world. I wonder who they take after?"

Ignoring her pointed comment he said, "Well give them a wake up call. I'm going to get in the shower and then try and see if I can get in to see Gage. They have him holed up in that room like he's quarantined or something. Tell Jenna and Whitney they have one hour to meet us down in the lobby to go get breakfast."

"You know that means it will be an hour and a half, right?"

"Exactly, but if I gave them an hour and a half they wouldn't be there for two."

"Derek, they're sixteen and fourteen, what else do you expect?"

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Derek called Gage's cell phone as he left his hotel room.

"Hello."

"Hey son, did I wake you up."

"Are you kidding Dad, how can you wake someone up that never went to sleep?"

"That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea. Well actually, maybe you do. Where are you?"

"I just left the room. Your mom and sisters are getting ready for breakfast and I thought I'd come hang out with you while they did."

"I'd love the company. Knock on the door and I'll let you in."

When Derek reached the door, Gage had it opened before he could even knock. Derek looked questioningly at him and Gage just shrugged and answered, "Peep hole."

They walked on in and sat down at a table facing one another.

"So, nerves are getting to you huh, Son?"

"Dad it's horrible. I know all the votes are tallied and there's nothing I can do, but I just keep thinking about everything that's riding on this. If I win tonight, they're almost guaranteeing me to be the number one pick in the draft. Can you believe it?"

Derek could absolutely believe it, Gage was every bit that good. But what he couldn't believe was that his little boy was old enough to be at this stage in his life. Time had absolutely flown by and Derek wished that for just a moment he could make it stand still.

"Dad, are you listening?"

"Of course Son, I was just thinking. I remember the first time you stepped on the field in peewees. There was just this naturalness to you. All those other little boys were running around trying to figure out what was going on, but not you. You were in total control, even then. Gage, you know how much we love you. Whether you win or loose tonight has no bearing on that. And no matter what, you're a guaranteed lock as a first round draft choice. But you know our love is unconditional and if you never play another down of football, we'd never care a bit."

"Listen Dad, I know at the time I was just a goofy kid who never really put a lot of thought into it, but now I look back and see what you sacrificed for me. You left your game at the top. You had several more seasons in you but you just walked away and never looked back."

"Gage, you were starting high school and I didn't want to miss it. We had more money than we could ever spend in a lifetime, why stay? I had achieved my dreams, but there was only one chance for me to watch you achieve yours. I wouldn't have missed one of those games for ten more Stanley Cups. Son, when everything gets stripped away, family is what's left. Nothing, matters more than your family."

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"And the winner of this year's Heisman Trophy is Boston College, senior quarterback, Gage Venturi."

Casey immediately felt the tears leave her eyes. This was it; the absolute culmination of everything their son had worked for his whole life. He was the number one college football player in America, but more than that he was one of the finest human beings she had ever had the privilege of knowing.

Casey watched as Gage made his way to the stage and accepted his award. Moving to the podium he cleared his throat and moved the microphone so that he didn't have to bend over to speak.

"I just want you to know that I'm truly overwhelmed by this honor. Thousands of little boys grow up dreaming about this moment, picturing it in their head and I was one of those little boys. I'd just like to say that anything in your wildest imagination can't come close to the actual feeling."

"I'd like to thank my coaching staff and fellow players. Without their support and talent I wouldn't be standing here today. I took my first steps on the campus of Boston College twenty years ago and to be representing them on this stage at this moment is beyond believable."

"To my little sisters, Jenna and Whitney, I say thank you. You truly light up my life and I love you both."

"To my mom, you taught me the importance of hard work. You taught me the value of an education and above all the need to leave the world a better place than you found it. Your strong convictions and high moral standards are something that I will take with me where ever I go. I love you very much."

He stopped then and Casey could see that he was struggling to keep his emotions in check. She could see the tears welling in his eyes as he tried to regain his composure. Finally, trusting himself to speak again, he went on.

"And to my Dad, no words can express the gratitude, love and respect I have for you. You gave me a name I could be proud of. You taught me the true meaning of sacrifice. Every decision you made as an adult centered on not what was best for you but what was best for your family. You walked away from the game you loved because you loved me and mom and my sisters more. Dad there were so many things you could have done but you didn't because you loved us more."

And then finally, unable to hold them in any longer, the tears slowly came. With great emotion evident in his voice he managed to get out, "Dad, I only hope that some day I become half the man that you didn't have to be."

Casey looked over at Derek and saw the tears flowing unashamedly down his cheeks, and it was one more moment, in a lifetime of moments, that truly took her breath away.

**All right, that's it. I know it was a total fairytale ending but its fan fiction and I love happy endings. I hope you'll all review. I know that there were a lot of lurkers out there and I'd love to hear from all of you. This is your last chance, so please let me know what you think. And to my faithful, please leave one more. Thanks for all your support. **


	23. Chapter 23

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I just wanted to let everyone know that followed this story that I've posted a sequel called "Moments in our Lives". I'm very excited about this story.

**It will follow Gage, Jenna and Whitney through the struggles of growing up and becoming adult, plus there's a great surprise at the end of Chapter 4 for all you Dasey lovers.**

**Anyway, I just wanted to make you all aware that there is a sequel and I hope to hear from a lot of you again!**

**Thanks!**

**  
Shellie**

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